I really enjoyed your letter so much. It spoke to my heart and made me wish that you and I were in the same room together. Thank you.
From the day I married, 30 years ago this past September 1st, I always knew in my deepest hope that I wanted to be the mother to a large family and have the blessing of staying home and being with my children and husband as much as possible. I had a degree in nursing and perused working in that field (obstetrics and postpartum care) as much as I was able when able. However my first calling was to be a mommy.
I have always enjoyed creating and making a home for my family. When all the children were very small my efforts may have been much smaller. For example, a pretty pumpkin and some fall leaves on the kitchen table may have been the extent of my efforts. Whatever little thing that I could do to create a sense of "home" for my family I would do. When I became interested in baking bread, then this I did around the children and their needs. I have always loved taking care of children. I have always felt that this is where the Lord has called me to be. When gardening became my new passion, then the children and I did what we could as we could. Surely some years this may have meant only herbs in pots or a small garden of flowers. As the children grew older then naturally my interests veered towards their interests and this opened up many new horizons for me.
It has been a struggle at times in my life to pursue challenges and paths that are a personal interest for me. For example, for many years I taught childbirth classes and breastfeeding at hospitals in our area and privately in my home. This was a personal goal that gave me fulfillment only when it did not interfere with our family life. Sometimes I am certain that it surely may have. The older children can still remember going to the hospital with me when I would be a monitrice for a patient. I would have to take them with me, until my husband could come home from work and pick them up at the hospital. Which brings me to my husband. Were it not for his full support and desire that I fulfill goals in my life, I could not be happy and at peace with the goals that I had and never was able to reach.
I really think that life is about creating beauty out of any circumstance with which you are surrounded. There have been the times in my life when intense sorrow filled every moment and finding beauty was impossible. However the good and loving Lord slowly brings us out of this place and we regain our desire to bring again the beauty of life closer to the ones we love. Searching for the simple yet profound ways to bring a sense of "home" and beauty into your life is a gift from the Holy Spirit. Through prayer and a longing to celebrate the "day that the Lord has made" you will find that everything you do for your family or those you care about is a gift.
I sense from your letter that you are a loving, prayerful, quietly peaceful woman who desires to show to her family the wonders of the Lord. Do not think that your efforts have to be monumental in order to be appreciated by your family. Remember what St. Theresa (her feast day was Oct. 1) says, "Small deeds with great love."
As you have more time or your interests move in different directions then the Holy Spirit will show you the path to take. Being open and ready to receive His inspiration is the single most important ingredient to fulfilling your goals of creating and bringing the beauty of the Lord to all you meet. God love you.
Jesus, You are so very generous. You have given us so much to be thankful for each and every day. Please be with all mothers today and always as we go about our work, knowing that we are caring for people that You have given us to care for. I would ask, Lord, a special blessing on this dear and lovely mother. Help her to reach goals and desires for her life as well as the goals she may have when serving her family. Let her feel Your love this moment and the reassurance of Your call "whatsoever you do for these, you do for Me." Amen.
I would suggest that you might enjoy keeping a personal journal of your thoughts, goals, and desires. Sometimes writing down our innermost thoughts is very good for our hearts.
Sending out a prayer,