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Home > Support > Mothering > I just wish I could teach in a more loving way and also take time to "enjoy" time with my children more....
Question: I am a mother of three small children, my oldest is presently in kindergarten, and I plan to begin homeschooling in the fall. My baby is still up 3 or 4 times through the night to nurse. Since my daughter started kindergarten the three children and I have been sick. (We literally have not gone two whole weeks, since September, without someone having something. We are now in May.) I love my children very much, but I am always yelling at them, and I feel as though I am ruining their spirits. I am exhausted from lack of sleep and illnesses and I am afraid I will not have the patience to homeschool in the fall. I feel very strongly about homeschooling, and VERY GUILTY about all of the yelling. My mother was a "yeller," and I'm afraid I've fallen into the same way of parenting. Do you have any suggestions, maybe I'm praying for the wrong thing, because I've been praying for years, and I'm still lacking patience. I just wish I could teach in a more loving way and also take the time to "enjoy" time with them more, they grow so fast.

Dear Mom,

As I read your beautiful letter, I was confronted with two thoughts. You mentioned that you were worried that you may be praying for the 'wrong thing,' because you are praying for patience. I do not think that it is wrong to pray for patience. I believe that the quiet patience to endure with grace the hardships that the Lord allows in our life, is one of His greatest treasures. Jesus has promised that He would never leave us alone in this world and would be there always to guide and protect us as we await His calling to the next world of eternal joy. You have shown great faith when you pray for patience. You have demonstrated through your faith that you understand who it is that leads you and who it is that gives you the courage to withstand your hardships. Jesus will honor your sincere prayer.

You expressed your deep feeling of guilt over the mistakes that you are making in parenting. Guilt that keeps us living over and over the wrong that we have done is not an emotion from the Lord. The Tempter wants you to be submerged in guilt so that your feelings of remorse will keep you from stepping forward to change the behaviors that you rightly perceive to be detrimental to your young children. When I find myself feeling undo and paralyzing guilt I know that it is time to get to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. In this beautiful sacrament we can partake of the refreshing mercy of the Lord. He holds us gently and calms our fears and our heartache. He forgives and then wipes the slate clean, really clean. He gives us the grace to begin again and start fresh once more with no mistakes in our past. Not only does this happen, but the Lord gives us the grace to correct those actions which led us to sin. Jesus has instituted this sacrament and given us the counsel of wise priests to help us in our journey to perfection. Seek the advice of your parish priest or spiritual advisor. Their anointed wisdom is from the Lord.

You have very young children. I feel I can speak for many mothers who are reading your letter. Your days are going to be unpredictable and hectic. On a practical level you are going to need more rest than most. Please do not be too hard or demanding on yourself. If you have prayed to know the Lord's will for you and you feel that He alone is calling you to homeschool then it surely follows that He will give you the grace and the resources to complete what He asks of you. I would suggest that you look into purchasing curriculum for your children that take into account the real lives of moms like yourself. CHC has absolutely fantastic curriculums that are user friendly and family compatible. These curriculums are totally Catholic and fit into the lifestyles of parents with small children and eager learners. J

In closing, know that the Lord lifts us up when we fall. He is eager to comfort and sustain. He never allows burdens in our life that He will not help us shoulder. You are loved and you are able to give great love to all whom the Lord has sent you to care for. I am praying for you every day. Pray the rosary in the quiet moments when you are nursing the baby. The Blessed Mother is our ideal role model for virtue and patience.

Dearest Jesus, we lift up the needs of this young mother to You today. She is struggling with her parenting and desires to make changes in her behavior so as to bring a sense of peace and calm into her home. Lord, we know that this is Your desire for every home. Please send people into her life today that will show her the kindness, mercy, and love that comes from You. We love You, Lord Jesus. Amen.

Sending out a prayer,
Rita Munn

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