Isn't that always the way? We go forward into the Lord's will and feel a certain peace about our choice and our resolve only to experience doubts or a nagging guilt for reasons that seem to rob of us our initial peace.
We must recognize the Tempter at work. It is the Tempter that continually desires to drag us backward into the 'mistakes' we may or may not have made in the past. Sometimes we forget that the choices we made at a particular season in our life were made for reasons unique to that season. The Lord loves us beyond our human ability to comprehend such love. He lovingly directs our path on the journey to choices that will lead us closer to Him. We must look to the past with the eyes of one who realizes that going forward is what the journey is about. To go back to situations or circumstances that we can not change is to turn ourselves around and not see Jesus. This is how the Tempter works his deception. He shows us the mistakes of our past and adds special effects to the events which only cause us pain and confusion. Don't go there.
When the past begins to interfere with the joy of the present it is time to accept the Lord's embrace and ask that He heal what needs healing or to give us the courage to let go of the past and go forward into the journey at hand. Homeschooling is not the watermark of worthy parenting. Homeschooling is a choice that must be accepted for the season and reasons of the present moment. It could very well be that you were not meant to homeschool your older children and if you had insisted upon this lifestyle for them you may have been going against the will of the Lord. Parenting is a lifelong vocation. Homeschooling is just a tiny fraction of a lifelong commitment.
You are a pure and holy woman who has a heart for her children. Remember that the Lord finds you worthy because He has gifted you with the dear children that you have. Go forward. Trust in the Lord's desire to empower and inspire you. See the challenges of each day as gifts. Do not dwell in the past because the past is unable to be changed. Remember that the journey to our Heaven home is continuous and there will be times that the path will present challenges. Keep your heart, mind and eyes upon Jesus for He beckons you to walk with Him and to accept His loving care. Rest in His embrace often and partake of His healing touch frequently.
Let us pray. Jesus, we ask that You bring the power of Your True Presence to all persons who are suffering this day for events of their past. Lord, bring them into the truth of Your healing forgiveness and tender love. Jesus, we ask that You surround this dear mother with confirmation of her worthiness and her ability to go forward on the journey to You. Amen.
Sending out a prayer,