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Home > Support > Mothering > I'm scared to get pregnant again...
 
 
Question:

I know I am 3-4 years ahead of the ballgame, but I am just researching/developing an understanding of Catholic homeschooling. I have been married just under two years and have a 13 month old. I have always wanted to homeschool and am beginning to look into what is "out there."

I am wondering just how homeschooling really works, especially knowing that by the time my daughter reaches pre-school/K our family will include one or two others! As it is now, my daughter sleeps from about 9:30 PM until 7:30 AM, but wakes up 3-5 times during the night to breastfeed...still..... at 13 months!!!!! I am not getting good rest, am about 10-15 lbs. underweight, and constantly napping during the day. Seriously, I might be up for 3 hours and I'll get this blackout feeling that tells me I have to take a nap or I'll faint. I don't think this will be possible once I have another child. Nor do I see how homeschooling will work in such fragment of wakefulnesss.

All the Catholic literature I read says you're supposed to let the baby sleep with you and your husband, nurse when ever he/she wants day and night, etc, etc..... so I'm torn about just what to do. It's not going as easily for me. And at one year now, I'm tired of it all. She can nurse as much as she wants during the day, but how do I get her to leave me alone at night?

Thanks for your help with this question. I am at a loss on how to wean my 13 month old. I am already worrying about how it will effect future children/our homeschooling lifestyle. In fact, I'm scared to get pregnant again because of this.

Answer:

Dear Mom,

What a wonderful blessing you are to your family and to those who have the good fortune to know you. When we are people of love, people of tenderness, people of faith and people with a sincere desire to foster a docile spirit within ourselves we shine forth with the light of the Lord. For you see there are no veils to hide the Lord's presence in our lives. We move from day to day accepting what the Lord allows and working to do the best we can with the resources that the Lord gives us. That is more than a gift, it is a joy.

Certainly you are 'ahead of the game'. That is great. You need to focus on the work at hand however and let the rest come to you as you are able. I am going to assume that you have spoken with your health care giver concerning your 'black out' feelings. Certainly it is probably a result from the combination of intense mothering and the physical demands of pouring yourself out for your dear family. However to add the anxiety of homeschooling (and remember that children are learning every minute they are awake) to this is more than you need to do. Jesus tells us that 'today's concerns are enough for today'.

Each time that you and your child are together, you are not only mothering her but you are homeschooling her as well. A child is a learning machine whose stimulation and inspiration is fueled by the dedicated efforts of those who love them. Allow that your schooling for now is your care that you give your dear child. When the time comes for a more formal approach to education then CHC (or another provider if you choose) will be here for you. Using a lesson plan is the most beneficial way for someone who prefers the structure of a plan to approach homeschooling. Far from being constrictive CHC's lesson plan allows you more freedom as you are not tied to the tedium of planning the course of study.

When I was a very young mom with 4 children under the age of 5 a friend in the neighborhood came by for a visit. This mom had 2 children under the age of 4. We sat and chatted while the children played. I was up and down seeing to the needs of the children all throughout our visit. It was a nice visit for me however the other mom finally said "I don't know how you are doing this!?" She admitted she was exhausted just watching me. She said that the main reason she had come over was to see how my day goes because she was contemplating having another baby. I am afraid that she may have left that afternoon feeling a bit overwhelmed. I do not feel overwhelmed by children, it is people who do not understand the great joy of children that overwhelm me. Remember that the Lord did not give me 10 children overnight. The Lord never gives us more than we can bear and His grace is abundant and readily available.

I would strongly urge you to speak with your husband and your health care giver. When my daughter was approximately at the same stage you are with your little girl she found that she too was usually exhausted. After a simple checkup she was discovered to have hypothyroidism. Daily medication was taken to correct this and she has been fine ever since.

I admire you very much and find in you a sweet mommy who is in love with her baby and her family. Wonderful. Take care of yourself as you are important to this new little person and your husband as well.

Let us pray together a Hail Mary. Mary, our mother, we ask that you show us the way to your Son. Let us rest in His embrace that we might be better able to do the work ahead. Let us wait in peace as we approach each new task. Amen

Sending out a prayer,

Rita Munn

   
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