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Home > Support > Mothering > This past year a lot has happened in my family life that has taken the wind out of my sails...

Question:

Hello! I need much prayer and help to 'keep on keeping on'! This past year a lot has happened in my family life that has taken the wind out of my sails! The only thing that has been saving me has been my Faith! We are getting help emotionally and I am just now starting to try and physically take care of myself (hard with a baby and small ones and no outside or family help).

Well, here is a new homeschool year and we have no money for books, let alone Mom has no energy for figuring schedules, etc. While it sounds ideal for my husband to help on the weekends or when he gets home, it doesn't happen. Also, it seems to be a monumental task just to get the older ones to help - they grumble or leave half a mess so I have more to clean! I have read about taking time out, but then feel internal pressure and friends ask 'How is school going'? How do I go about getting 'us back on track' with homeschooling and have a joyful family? It seems 'Mom' tries to do it all and that is part of why I have 'burnout' along with other major problems on the homefront. I know also this is Satan trying to pull my family apart, but sometimes this life seems so lonely. That's why I love your site for all of the help and support - thank you in advance. I need 'mountains of prayer' to get me though this 'season of life'. May God bless your work!

Answer:

Dearest Mom,

I know that I am not writing to a homeschool mom who is new to the game but to one who has weathered many storms and has overcome just as many challenges. It is always a testimony of faith and the Lord's great desire to uplift and inspire each mom, when a mom such as yourself trusts her concerns to this forum. My gratitude is heartfelt and I feel that my words will surely be feeble in the face of your courage and willingness to share the very real struggles that pouring one's self out for the children can mean.

Bear with me as I attempt to tell you some hints that I am sure you already know and most likely have put into place. My first suggestion would be to take time and renew your efforts to spend quiet time in prayer. I am not in a position to 'take time away' either. If I were to leave the house now it would put an undue burden upon my husband and therefore I can not justify the need. However I will tell you that when I sacrifice my personal time for prayer (early in the morning before the day begins) and my walk I suffer the results for the rest of the day. Now mind you, I may not realize or want to admit that the sluggish day that seems to be wrought with whining teens, missed appts. and all that serves to distract me is the result of not giving Jesus my undivided attention at the start of the day. I may actually go for a few days in a row without the decided effort that is necessary to give the day to the Lord at the start, before I begin to feel overwhelmed and unable.

You are very correct in thinking that the life of a homeschooling mom is lonely. There are those times when the loneliness is overwhelming and causes me to wonder why I am still at this journey. However I have found that through prayer Jesus will show me that I am not lonely but I am apart. That is a very significant distinction. To be lonely is to pine away for companionship, to be apart from the world is to be 'called' by the Lord. In the same manner that Jesus extolled the apostles to 'come away with me to a place of quiet', we are summoned to be about our tasks with Jesus side by side. We are literally working with Jesus' own strength. This empowerment is more readily accepted when we pray to have the veil of this world lifted and to see the very truth of the Lord and His great love for us.

I admire you very much and sense in you a woman of deep faith and desire to live in an orderly life. This desire for order is a direct result of your increasingly close walk with the Lord. Jesus does not inhabit confusion and discontent however He inspires us to find order and sense in our world. Is this to say that a sink full of dirty dishes is displeasing to the Lord? No. But if that sink full of dirty dishes causes us so much unrest that we vent that anger in an unhealthy way, then it is time to clean up the kitchen.

Making time for the Lord allows us to set doable goals and to prioritize our work in order to meet those goals. Jesus wants us to be peaceful and empowered.

I imagine that you are well aware of the worth found in Eucharistic Adoration. Make time for this devotion. Go alone and allow Jesus His time with you. Rest in His embrace. Rest just as a fretful infant rests in its mother's arms quietly comforted by her embrace and the warmth of her touch. Jesus wants to shower you with the grace necessary to go about your very challenging work with renewed vitality. Not only will the Lord renew your weary spirit but He will inspire you with ideas to meet the challenges.

I am praying for you and all homeschooling moms on the 4th Glorious Mystery. Please pray for me as well. I can feel the strength of each prayer. There are days that I look at my own 'house' and wonder how in the world I managed to get to the end of the day. Certainly I did not manage it.....it was managed from the Lord's care through prayer.

Lord, we ask that You inspire and empower all moms who are laboring against many odds and challenges to do what they feel in their hearts is Your will for their families. Lord, we ask that You shower us with the grace sufficient to meet the tasks ahead. Whether we are homeschooling moms or not, all moms are in special need of Your embrace in life. We love You and long to see Your face. Amen. Let us offer our prayers for all those who must live through the anniversary of the Amish School Shooting. Lord send Your healing, Your mercy, and Your peace. Amen.

Sending out a prayer,

Rita Munn