I admire you greatly. You are a holy and pure witness of the very real nature of what we must endure at times in our life. I am humbled by your quiet resolve and your steadfast courage in the face of challenges that are overwhelming. Praise God that you shared your story with this forum. You would probably be surprised to know just how many moms find that they are in the same position. Never apologize for allowing your children to participate in the real work of being a family. Children the ages of your own are very much aware of the challenges that meet their parents. How holy to see these young people helping their parents in such a profound and beautiful way.
If you were asking more of them than they are able this would be a different story altogether. However an hour's worth of housework is minimal and certainly gives these lovely children a sense of responsibility that is priceless and of the Lord. How rare are those moments in a child's life when they can feel that their contribution is not only worthy but vital. I would think that it would be a great sorrow for your children to sit by and watch you struggle and not move to help you. How sad that would be for them. They see you doing all you can do, your husband is caring and loving, and naturally they will want to do what they are able to do. How wonderful.
I doubt that your children will hate housework. They may not keep their own houses as clean as they are asked to keep yours but I doubt that they will hate the work. :) I am always amazed when I visit my grown children's apartments. Some are very neat and others are a cozy mess. Makes no difference to me. It is their home and all that matters is how they like to keep it.
Do not let the Tempter muddle and destroy what is beautiful in your life. The Lord has blest you with two children that are (for the most part I would imagine) eager to help you and your husband. Praise the goodness of the Lord for their helpful spirits and tell the Tempter to flee. You have the same right to use the same words the Lord used...."Get behind me, Satan".
Do not allow yourself to stay in doubt and sorrow. Give your sorrow back to the Lord for He will use it as a holy tool. Pray to know the depth of the challenges that you are currently facing. Ask the Holy Spirit to empower and inspire you to work together with your children to ensure that no one person is bearing more than necessary. Go forward. You are a wonderful person and I will not hear of you calling yourself a 'bad' mother. No way!! You are a woman who is working the work the Lord has laid before you. You are a holy witness to me. Thank you for sharing your story.
Let us pray:
Jesus we ask that you heal our dear sister in Christ. Touch her now and allow that the power of Your touch heal her from the tips of her toes to the top of her head. Give her the peace that passes all understanding as she rises up to meet the challenges that You are allowing in her life today. Lord we ask that her dear husband remain healthy and able as he works to provide for his family. We ask that her older children come to the assistance of their parents as their situations will allow. Lord please surround our dear sister with angels and protect her spirit. Give her the firm knowledge that she is Your precious child and belongs only to You. Give her the grace that will allow her the strength to say "Get behind me, Satan" during those times when she is tempted and feels she is not worthy. Let her know that she is worthy because You love her. All these things we ask in Your holy name. Amen.
Sending out a prayer,