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Question:

I have written to you before and I am very grateful for your faith filled, encouraging responses. Amidst all my worry and questioning about whether homeschooling is right for us, I think one of my biggest issues and concerns stems from my guilt associated with working. I guess I just want someone to tell me that is OK to work and homeschool. I only work 2 days, we do a 4 day curriculum, one of the days I am gone, my daughter goes to a homeschool group classes. We need me to work right now, I may not have to in the future, but at least for the next year or two, this is what I need to do to help the family. But I also want to do a good job homeschooling and I just feel so bad that I am leaving them at home to go to work. They have a loving, caring sitter, my older daughter does some independent work when I am gone and she is home, but I feel so guilty. If I could just get over that part of the way I'm feeling, I probably could handle the other craziness of scheduling, housework, schoolwork, etc., If I could only let that part go. Thank you again for your insights.

Answer:

Dear Mom,

Your letter was a pleasure to read and I thank you for taking the time to write to me through this forum. I am certain that your question is on the hearts of other moms as well.

As I read your letter three words touched my heart because in those simple words the essence of parenting and covenant love between husband and wife are exemplified. Those words are 'we', 'they', and 'I'. It is obvious that your heart is open and ready to do what is necessary within the Lord's will for your family. Your sacrificial love for your children and your husband brings you to the choice to work outside the home.

In your 'we' you are stating that you and your husband have discussed the options and have decided that for the good of your financial situation it is necessary for you to work for a small amount of time outside the home. Think about this for a moment. Your husband could have easily insisted that you work a 40 hr. week. After all if 2 days a week will net extra money imagine what 5 days a week will bring? But he didn't and that is the real statement. I believe that the two of you discussed the options from a standpoint of love and sacrifice and your working 2 days meets the needs that your family is dealing with at this time.

In your 'they' you are expressing that you have put the needs of your children above your own. You have prayed over the options and have found that in light of your belief that you are being called to homeschool yet find that you are in a financial situation that requires your working outside the home, working 2 days makes both homeschooling and working possible. It is clear that you have carefully arranged your schedule and time so as to meet the needs of your children. You are putting their schooling first and have planned accordingly so as to meet the needs of their education.

In your 'I' you are saying that you are willing to do what is necessary to help not only your family but to follow in the Lord's will as you understand that will for your family and for yourself.

Guilt that makes us sad or confused is of the Tempter. Remember that he desires to confuse and mislead the Lord's faithful so that their energies are spent needlessly in anxiety. If we can second guess ourselves and labor under misconceptions about what it means to be worthy then the Tempter has succeeded in causing us undo fretfulness and ultimately fear. We fear that we are not worthy, that we are in the wrong, or ultimately that the Lord does not love us enough to empower and guide us along the way. We feel unable to cope with the demands of our life because we are working under the notion that we must be strong enough, clever enough, and holy enough to do the Lord's will.

When in fact it is in our weaknesses and docility of spirit that the strength of the Lord is seen. In our weakness He is made strong. The Lord loves us so much that we are not able to fully comprehend the depth of such a love. To understand this love is not nearly as important as accepting this love and allowing the power of the Lord's love to guide and direct our lives. Would you give your child a difficult task to do and then not help him? Of course not. The Lord knows your difficulties and He longs to empower you to work through the challenges that He alone has allowed. As long as you strive to listen to the Lord, speak openly and honestly with your spouse concerning your challenges, and be willing to do what is necessary then the Lord in His mercy will honor your docile heart and pure spirit. Go forward into this truth.

I admire you very much. I see in you a woman of great love for her family. You are striving to give your family the best of what you have to offer. Right now it means a certain course of action but in a few years it could mean something else. The important thing to keep uppermost in your heart is the desire to do the Lord's will. Accept the peace of mind that Jesus will guide you and empower you to do what is right.

Let us pray for all families that are suffering because their financial situation makes their lives more than difficult to bear. Let us pray that husbands and fathers are able to enjoy the great blessing that is borne of worthy work which allows them to provide for those that they love. Let us pray that women who are in the work force feel satisfaction borne of worthy work done in order to provide for those they love. Let us pray that those who work or toil are never exploited and used unfairly for another's gain. Lord, we love You and long to see Your face. Amen.

Sending out a prayer,

Rita Munn