Dear Mom,

Isn't it amazing how much our homes need tending to when we are busy with our children? Sometimes I think that the Tempter loves to niggle moms into thinking that keeping the house neat and presentable is an either/or situation. I know from my own perspective I go through seasons of personal growth with regard to the house and its needs.

I can remember when I began the journey of homeschooling it seemed that for me the cleanliness of our surroundings made it easier for me to stay focused and organized on the tasks of homeschooling. However as the children became more 'involved' and actively acquiring the homeschooling lifestyle it was apparent that keeping the house thoroughly presentable was not a doable priority. The children were loving each moment of the homeschooling lifestyle and their activities and interests were taking a front seat in our daily efforts.

For example just today I have been gone since mid-morning doing a 4-H competition in outdoor meat cookery. Our practice sessions were held at a neighbor's farm. 14 children and their moms grilled meat and ate picnic style next to a lovely creek. With the temperatures in the 100's the cool, spring-fed creek was such an oasis for the children. We moms cooled our shared side dishes on the banks of the creek in the shallow waters while the 4-Her's grilled all kinds of meat. I was gone until late in the afternoon. This evening my husband is picking me up to go to Nashville to a prayer service centered upon the rosary and confession. The older girls have dashed out the house for lifeguarding and the youngest daughter is about to leave to babysit for a homeschooling mom in the neighborhood. (This means that I have a choice to either put my feet up for a few minutes and have a glass of ice tea or do housework. Easy choice, heehee.) What is the moral of the story?....My own house looks like a mild wreck. There is the remains of cooking from this morning, breakfast and last night's dirty dishes stacked on the counter, the laundry has to be shoved aside to get through the laundry room and the floors need sweeping, the bathrooms need an overhaul and the front room needs attention. I haven't been upstairs in a week....I don't even want to guess what it looks like. Yet I am so grateful and happy that we have spent this time together: the children with their friends and other moms for me. I know that in the grand scheme of things all the domestic needs can be met at another time but the joys of family and children can not wait. (The experience of today pretty much sums up how I feel about keeping house.)

I feel very grateful that I am able to relax for an hour or so and answer some of the mail for Ask Rita that I have received while I have been gone from my office today. I find such a wonderful and uplifting time of grace when I am able to read about the journey other moms are taking. I believe that the Lord in His infinite mercy and tender love 'sends' each mom to me in order that I might learn from their questions and witness of holy faith.

I would suggest that you find a balance that suits you. You are the one who must deal with your home and the situations that will unfold there. It is important that you find a peaceful way to manage the needs of homekeeping. I prefer to eliminate as much clutter and dustables as possible. I prefer a clean and open look. This goes for projects, etc. We have a 'no projects' zone in our house. This is the kitchen table. It seems that in most all homeschooling households every flat service is eventually covered with some project or another. The kitchen table stays clutter free, so one can have a quiet cup of tea or just sit and think. I like the beds made in the morning and the laundry brought to the laundry room so that I can begin washing and hanging out our clothes early in the day before it gets too hot. I prefer to cook simple food focusing on fresh ingredients.

I think one of the greatest helps we have employed in our home has been to eliminate the television. I would be the worst offender if there were a television in this place. I am sure that I would find the spare hour or so to watch cooking shows and decorating shows.

You are a mom with a heart for your family and especially your lovely children. It seems as though the Lord has blest you with a wonderful home. Think of the house as only a place. The real drama of a day's work will take place in the hearts and minds of your dear children. They will not forget a mom who is patient and peaceful, a home that felt welcoming and cozy, the spirit of joy that permeates each room and the memories of play and learning. Find a spot for your family altar. Make this area of the home the priority as far as cleanliness is concerned. Give this area all the attention necessary to make it worthy to be called a family altar. When it is time for efforts in the evening make sure that the room reserved for family prayer (the living room etc) is picked up and ready for all of you to gather and spend the next 30 minutes or so in prayer. Set a mood in your home that speaks loud and clear, "People are more important than things."

You are a wonderful mom, working to be a holy witness. Let the Lord empower and inspire you in His own way to foster your unique capabilities with regard to homekeeping. I admire you very much and am grateful that you wrote this letter. Thank you.

Let us pray a Hail Mary for all the children of the world that will go to bed this evening in poverty. Let us ask that the Holy Spirit empower and inspire their faithful and hardworking parents to continue their efforts to provide for their children. Let us ask the Lord to embrace these families and fill them with hope and strength as they struggle to care for one another against such challenges. Amen.

Sending out a prayer,

Rita Munn