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Question:

I am discontent with our situation, but not sure if it is warranted. We recently moved to a small new town with our family. There are many good things about it, but there are also some things that I just can't get over. There are very few Catholic homeschoolers in our town, the one church has quite a few liturgical abuses and other things we do not agree with and we are more than two hours away from enrichment opportunities like museums, etc. I am feeling more and more that this is not a good place to raise our family, but my husband seems to think that although it isn't perfect, we can make it work.
I am the one home with the kids all day and I think I see all the weaknesses of this area more than he does. Of course there are good things....most people are very friendly and my husband's job is great, but as far as raising children, I don't see the plusses outweighing the negatives.

Also, we are almost the only married couple with no other previous marriages in our neighborhood, and that is very hard to explain to little kids...most are not even married. They are good people, but have made a lot of bad choices. As far as moving, it is do-able. It might not be easy, but it would be possible for my husband to find something else in another part of the country. Unfortunately, it isn't his top priority, whereas it is the only thing I seem to be able to think about lately. I can already see a change in my kids, and we have only been here a year. I really don't want to live in a place where everything I teach is undone and there isn't a support system (our priest isn't even very supportive of homeschooling).

Sorry this is so long, but I wanted to give you the big picture. Thank you so much in advance for your advice...should we move?! God bless you...your catalog, website and materials bring me so much peace.

Answer:

Dear Mom,

Yours is a question that gets at the very heart of our faith journey, isn't it? Let me ask you something. What would it mean to you if you did move only to find that the place you had decided upon was in some way unsuitable? To what degree are you and your husband able to search for the 'perfect' situation and the 'perfect' opportunity in which to raise your family? This is really the heart of the question. I myself have asked this question over the years and have come to many different answers. However one night while I was pondering this question in prayer I was given a vision of St. Maximilian Kolbe in a concentration camp. The Lord spoke to my heart and said, "Practicing the Catholic faith in a place like this is difficult to say the least, however this holy servant not only managed to be My priest, but he comforted, witnessed to, and brought the love of Christ to so many, even unto his own death."

I trust that few of us will be asked to sacrifice under the deplorable conditions of a concentration camp yet we must weather so many abuses to our senses each and every day. Certainly the purity and the innocence of our dear children is worth the sacrifices to protect and safeguard this treasure. Yet to what degree are we able to move our situation in order provide perfection.

The most important building block for a family is first and foremost a true love of the Lord manifested in faithful participation to the Sacraments, family prayer, teaching our children of Jesus' mercy and great love for us and our own holy witness of our trust and love of the Lord through our personal actions.

It becomes a great test of our steadfastness in the Lord when we long to change our surroundings or situation but are unable to. There are many persons that must live in poverty, hunger, and want for the basic needs of life. I have seen with my own eyes a great joy found among people who seem to have so little. Jesus lives and reigns in our hearts. Our hearts are the Lord's temple.

I do not know your husband's situation but I would venture a guess if it is not too forward. Is he the sole support of your dear family? Does he carry the burden of financial means alone? Is he happy with his work, does he find his job fulfilling and worthy? Is his work situation compatible to a lively faith, a dignity that is humanly worthy and a purpose that is holy and of the Lord?

In your questions I would believe that this is certainly the first place that you must begin your discernment. Next I would see if the situation with the environment can be changed? As far as your church/parish, remember that the Prisoner of the Tabernacle is longing to be set free. You are the one who will bring Jesus to others through your holy witness. Sometimes when the abuses of liturgy are great (I understand what you are saying) the graces available are greater. Sometimes we must go to Mass and see only the Crucifix before our eyes. We must remember that we are there to receive Jesus and to find healing and comfort in the reception of His Precious Body and Blood. "Lord Jesus, heal me from the top of my head to the bottom of my toes."

I would suggest that you and your husband spend some time before the Tabernacle or in Eucharistic Adoration. Ask that the Lord empower the two of you to make choices that are based upon what you both believe to be the will of the Father for you. Pour your hearts out before the Loving Listener and then wait to hear His word for you.

I admire you very much. How sorrowful it must be to find that you are in such a situation. You have a heart for the Lord that is clear. Certainly Jesus in His tender mercy will honor your desire to draw closer to Him and to follow in His will for you and your family. Keep praying to know the path you should take.

Let us offer prayers this evening for all those families that find great sorrow in situations or circumstances that they are not able to change. Let us offer our prayers up for these holy families that they may find courage, steadfastness and faith despite the conditions under which they are forced to live. Let us ask that the Lord guard and protect them and shelter them in His Sacred Heart. Amen.

When you pray this evening before your family altar, envision the type of life that you hope to give your dear children. Ask that your vision be purified to meet the will of the Lord. As you pray the Mysteries of the Rosary tuck each one of your dear children into the Sacred Heart (the most peaceful place of perfection on earth).

Sending out a prayer,

Rita Munn