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Question:

Dear Rita, I seek your advice on daily prayers and the family Rosary in my family, where I am the Catholic mother and my husband is not religious. Each night before bedtime I pray the Rosary with my older children. I say "with," my oldest has always been interested in things religious (thank you, Lord, for his good example!), so getting him to pray isn't very difficult. Of course my 4yo doesn't like to sit still very long. My 2yo just wants to be with father watching television. My husband only occasionally joins us, and not for more than a decade. He prefers to watch television at this time, and getting the children torn away from the t.v. and interested in prayer is extremely difficult, to say the least (at least the tv isn't in the same room). My question is, should I force them to stay in the same room while I provide the good Catholic example, or let them go as they please till they are a bit older? I have been telling my 4yo that she is old enough to kneel through the beginning of the Rosary, and then she may play quietly while we pray the rest. Is this proper? I saw it akin to saying, "yes, you must eat "this much" vegetable, so you can grow strong". It is just SO MUCH easier when father joins us. All you mothers who are in union with your husbands, thank the Lord for this. This heartbreaking situation bears its ugly head so many times in our days that it is a hard cross to bear patiently and without remark. Thank you very much for your thoughts on this.

Answer:

Dear Mom,

I am going to step out on a limb here and suggest that you talk with your husband about his tv viewing during family prayer. I think that it is his example that will mean more to the children and (sadly) not yours. Let me explain. They will notice more that he watches tv during family prayer and not that you are trying to pray. I am going to suspect that your dear husband does not see his tv viewing as a conflict and he may in fact see it as a way to be 'quietly' apart from you and the children.

It may be that though he does not agree with the rosary or that he finds it tedious he could possibly find it in his heart to be respectful of your wishes to pray with the children. Perhaps a rosary is too long for this the first introduction to the ritual of peace that is found in family prayer. Perhaps he would prefer a shorter form of family prayer. Perhaps saying the prayers in the evening with the children while they are kneeling next to their beds or have been tucked into bed.

I like to think that these situations are moments of challenge. The Lord does not send any challenge without supplying sufficient grace to suffer the burden the challenge presents. I would like to speak to the analogy of 'eating the vegetables'. I like that comparison, however let us go a little bit further. It is always best to introduce just a tiny taste of a veggie that is new and to not insist that the child eat it but rather that they just give it a try. In the same respect it may be that your family prayer needs to be tooled to fit the needs of your dear husband moreso than your children. As you go gently into this challenges the Lord will honor your docility of spirit and your desire to bring your dear children closer to Him through prayer.

Let us pray together a Hail Mary for all those families in which there is not one parent that can see the importance of family prayer. Let us offer our prayers for these dear families that are drowning each day in a world of secular concerns without knowing or embracing the fullness of the message of hope that is possible during family prayer. Lord please guard and protect them and help open doors for them to gain knowledge. AMEN.

Sending out a prayer,

Rita Munn