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Home > Support > Family Life > My husband and I have been discerning whether we should move or not...

Question:

My husband and I have been discerning whether we should move or not for quite a while. We have some family issues that keep us both, but especially me, upset. My family has a lot of problems. I have two sisters who are drug addicts along with one of their husbands. Hardly a week goes by that something doesn't come up that just stresses me out so much. I am the oldest and I feel responsible for them in a way. My mom passed away 3 years ago and my dad has some issues too with drugs and other things. Sometimes I feel like I am going to go crazy and I am just worn out by their problems. There are several children involved and they always want to come to my house. My husband doesn't want them to because he feels that I have enough to handle with our children. They also know way too much and they talk about the things that their parents do to my children. My husband also feels like they are just using me for a babysitter. We live in a very small town and both of our families live here. My husband's family is nice, no major problems but they totally don't support us in homeschooling or having a large family. Basically they think that we are ridiculous. My husband wants to move, and I do too, but I guess I question whether we are doing the right thing and for the right reasons. It wouldn't matter as far as my husband's job because he works offshore and 1 to 2 hours away in another direction wouldn't matter. I'm scared I guess too because I have lived in this little town since I was 10 years old, I am comfortable here. But I want so bad to get away and just be "us" for a change. I have been praying for a sign but nothing obvious has come. Only that my husband really wants to and the town that we are looking at has a college and our 18 year old has expressed interest in attending there.

Answer:

Dear Mom,

Thank you for sharing your concerns with this forum. I want you to know that there are many who share your challenges. It is a testimony to the great love that you have for your dear family that you are still engaged in their challenges, despite the amount of 'work' on your plate with regard to the ages of your lovely children.

Think for a moment about the needs of all that the Lord has given to you to care for. Is there really time to spread yourself as thin as you are doing at this time? Many times we serve those we love more through our heartfelt prayers than we do by our works on their behalf. Your dear sisters and father have much to struggle with and they indeed need your prayers more than they may realize. I would encourage you to have a family caucus and explain that your life is taking a new direction. You want your family to know that they are always in your prayers and that you will never stop interceding on their behalf but that you are unable to disrupt the life of your family with the constant and upsetting details of their need for money, time, and help. What we can't say we can pray. Pray Pray Pray on their behalf. Good prayers are work indeed. Sit before the Blessed Sacrament and encourage them to do the same.

Let us offer up our prayers this morning for those families that are estranged from one another due to conflicts and challenges. Let us know and believe that our prayers on behalf of our family are tools in the hands of an All Powerful Lord.

Rita Munn