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Home > Support > Homeschooling > I am feeling disillusioned with my local Catholic homeschooling support group...
Question: I am feeling disillusioned with my local Catholic homeschooling support group. The older members are dealing with older children at the middle and high school levels, as well as with the elementary level. It seems that they don't have the time to devote to the support of those of us who are newer to homeschooling. For whatever reason, I have not been able to make many friends within the group. I am friendly with many of them, but because our group is not actively holding events where we can get together and attempts to organize "play dates" and "moms only" events seem to be lightly attended, I just don't seem to be able to get close to anyone. I am missing the fellowship with other moms, and I am afraid that my children are missing the interaction with other children. I feel as though my attempts to reach out have been met with rejection and I'm hesitant to reach out again. I have yet to find another mom with whom I share common interests and personality style. With my 4th baby approaching delivery time, I'm simply feeling overwhelmed and alone. Is it time to move on to an active non-Catholic support group?

Dear Mom,

Isolation is a very real human sorrow. Humans are created by nature to seek the company of others. We seek the company of persons who are close to us in situation, age, and circumstance. We need this human bond in order to draw closer to Jesus. Jesus uses our human needs to bring us closer to Him.

The group that you are currently in is in a state of transition. As the homeschooling movement matures it is invariably going to meet with the challenges that you describe. However in those challenges there Jesus is working to bring all to Himself. Jesus uses challenge to work among His Precious little ones.

Sometimes the opportunities to be with one another goes through seasons. It seems as though your Catholic group is in a season that leaves you wanting more companionship. I sense that it is the companionship of other moms in your position that is being compromised at this time. Your need to be with other women experiencing what you are experiencing is holy and of the Lord.

Homeschooling is as though you are working a full time job. Many women who work outside the home (and they are not homeschooling) find that they experience the same isolation you feel. Though they are in the work place everyday they still need the fellowship of women who are in the same station in life as they are with regards to birthing, child rearing and season in the passage of time. One of the sorrows that we have seen in our industrialized world is the death of the 'village' lifestyle that allowed for more interaction amongst persons of the same age and persons who are older. There was great wisdom in this village life. I believe that in some ways we are constantly trying to build a village through our groups etc. that we form.

Do not seek to find a group as much as you seek to find friendship. Gravitate towards the mom or couple of moms that appear to be in the same place you are. Invite them over as far as you are comfortable considering all that is before you. Pray that the Lord will send you the open doors to walk through towards such friendships.

Though I do not believe that a non-Catholic group is wrong to join, I would still nonetheless look to the commitments that I have to make and the reward such commitments would bring. In other words is your involvement going to be peaceful and uplifting without being confrontational or disturbing?

Ultimately it is the Lord who will send persons into your life to be sojourners on the path to Heaven.

You are going to be a gift to someone who needs your special friendship, compassion and wisdom. Believe this because it is true. Jesus created you for the unique gifts that He will give you and because He desires that you share these gifts. Go forward into this truth and ask the Lord to send you the persons that will uplift and encourage you while you uplift and encourage them as well.

In this moment I consider you my friend because you have shared with me your heart's desire. Let us be friends for one another through our prayers for one another. Please pray for me. Though I am much older than you, you are giving me a holy witness through your letter. I will remind myself to reach out more to the younger moms that I meet along my journey. I need their fresh anointing and the energy of their youth to uplift and encourage me. Thank you dear friend and sister in Christ.

Let us pray a Hail Mary for all those persons who are truly alone due to sorrow bound in human circumstance. Let us pray today for inmates in prison, the elderly in nursing homes, and the forgotten and overlooked. Amen.

Sending out a prayer,

Rita Munn

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