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Question:

My oldest child, a daughter entering the fourth grade this fall, has been recently tested to determine her learning characteristic/abilities. She has a spelling learning difficulty and has been recommended to seek psychotherapy for depression. The psychologist feels that if her depression is treated, her learning difficulties would abate. Said psychologist also recommends that she be placed in a school setting to aid in her spelling challenge with remedial help. It was also thought that she would benefit considerably in having a peer group to help with learning limitations, building her self-esteem, and encourage a discovery of her identity.

My husband feels that perhaps school would be a better option. I don't feel that way - at least not without more investigation in all that we could offer her in the new school year in developing more outlets for peer association.

We need prayers and some advice on what route to take. I still feel that with extra help in spelling, which I know has been a problem for her, and introducing more activities outside of school to her, we can work through some of these issues. As far as her depression is concerned, there appears to be a family history and it's not something to be taken lightly - I am not opposed to outside treatment with a trained Catholic therapist. It's the schooling issue that is weighing heavily on us. When I think of placing any of my children in school, my heart sinks. Thanks for the help, prayers and words of wisdom which I know will come.

Answer:

Dear Parent;

Thank you for your question!

I feel as though your daughter could do well in the homeschooling setting, and all her needs can be met at home. The beauty about homeschooling is that children, who need that little extra assistance, can excel and blossom in this type of education. It gives that one-on-one attention that is so necessary when the learning pace needs to be slowed down, that he or she would not ordinarily receive in the regular classroom. For your daughter, I see three separate needs: her depression, spelling difficulty and developing more peer association and how they can be fulfilled in the homeschooling setting.

Depression is not something that can be taken lightly! I pray that your daughter receives the proper help soon. I think that being either in the regular classroom, or a homeschooling situation, won't necessarily help her depression, but the proper medication and a good therapist will. My concern is that with the natural ups and downs of being in a new school, the first year is always the most difficult even for the average child. If your daughter already struggles with depression, I fear that the first year in particular, will not be easy for her. Therefore, I see homeschooling as a plus in this situation. If she's having a particularly 'down' day, you can easily lighten her school load until she feels better or make the necessary adjustments for her needs. I don't think that her needs will likely be met in the regular classroom. I have seen too many times when the student who needs extra help or attention is pushed to the side, because the teacher simply does not have the time to address that need.

Also, anti-depressants usually help with the depression, and not necessarily a spelling difficulty. Therefore, I do not think that your daughter will receive the proper aid in this area with medication. In the homeschooling setting however, I think that you could give your daughter the special assistance that she needs because you can easily go at her pace. Another thing to consider is that in the home setting she will most likely be more relaxed and confident with you teaching her than somebody she doesn't know. If you feel more comfortable getting your daughter special assistance, you could consider hiring a tutor. However, I am confident that you could help her the most with her spelling. Because your daughter only needs help with her spelling, I am wondering what kind of remedial help she will receive in the regular classroom. Usually, students have to score very low overall on their tests for two years, before they get the assistance that they need. It is quite common in the regular school for children to slip through the cracks for three, even four years, before they finally receive remedial help. I would be very cautious when considering the regular classroom in terms of getting remedial help for a spelling difficulty.

If you would like to help your daughter with her spelling difficulties, whether she is in the regular classroom or at home, here are a few ideas. If you are not already, you might consider using the spelling workbooks offered by CHC. I would start at Level A with her, and work up. It is advisable to find a level at which she is most comfortable, and easy for her, so that she can gain confidence. Gradually, she can work her way up through the levels. At this point, I would not worry at all about what grade level she is at, but go through slowly and at her pace. Also, with spelling, students need constant practice and hands-on activities to learn. Some children can see the whole word, but not parts, while others can see the individual letters, but not the whole word. Therefore it is important for children to see both the words and the parts of the word. To help her learn her words, you could use felt letters or magnetic letters----anything that your daughter can manipulate is helpful. Using a felt board, dry-erase board, or chalkboard can help her keep her interest and involves moving or writing the letters. Constant practice is necessary. There are various spelling games that help children learn how to spell in a fun and interactive way. The more senses your daughter uses, the better. She could see the word, say the word, clap it with her hands, move letters, sing a song, etc. Whatever you decide to do, it is important that your daughter proceed at a slow pace and with little frustration or pressure.

Developing a peer association is very important for every child, no matter the age. However, you can develop this in a homeschooling setting, without necessarily being in a regular classroom. Putting your daughter in the regular classroom to develop a peer association will not come easily the first year, unless she already has friends in the same grade. Because homeschooling is becoming more popular amongst families, there are usually various homeschooling groups in any given area. There are, perhaps, homeschooling groups in your area, in which your daughter can become involved. Many homeschooling groups will have regular gatherings, field trips, classes, and other interesting activities that they do as a group. You are probably aware of the many possibilities open to homeschoolers. I know that local libraries usually hosts learning events, as well as other fun activities during the summers and school year. Building her self-esteem is important, and that will come with time, as she gains more confidence and realizes what she can do. The more that she can excel in a relaxed environment, the more that her self-esteem and confidence will build.

I will keep you in my prayers as you and your husband decide what to do. I believe that your daughter could excel in the homeschooling setting.

God bless you and your family!

Laura Nicholson

   
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