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Home > Support > Homeschooling > My 11 year old boy that is Asperger's Autistic has recently become aware of his differences...
 
 
Question: My 11 year old boy that is Asperger's Autistic has recently become aware of his differences and has decided that since God created him, God doesn't like him. It has been very difficult to try to make him understand that he has been wonderfully made and is a gift. Can you recommend any workbooks or curriculum that would best help him? He is such a joy to us and has many fine attributes but is stuck on this idea that God doesn't like him.
Answer:

Dear Mom,

What a joy that your dear little boy has you and your husband for his parents. Your statement that he is a 'joy' to you is beautiful and definitely inspired from the love of the Holy Spirit within you both. Isn't the Lord good!! He gave this dear and precious child to the perfect people who would understand that feelings of self worth are important to each human no matter the condition, state, or abilities of their life. Praise God for such a wonderful and powerful witness.

Let me ask you a question. Suppose that your dear son were in an exclusive private school and you arrive at the end of the day to take him home. Imagine that he gets into the van and the first words out of his mouth were "The teacher thinks I am stupid." That seems horrifying doesn't it? However when we persist as homeschooling parents to use curricula or methods that have a tendency to highlight what a child is not able to do instead of all that they are able to accomplish despite the challenges they face it is as though we are reinforcing the negative.

Teaching is both an art and helping another person to go beyond what they thought they couldn't do into the successes of accomplishment. This art is what I want to speak about now. The art of teaching is fostered in the confidence borne of a certain knowledge that each human is precious and capable of achieving all that the Lord has designed for them to accomplish. It is as though a human is a gift with a hidden potential locked inside. Our desire to reveal the glory of the Lord within a person is the key to unlocking all that the Lord plans to do within that person. The Lord creates each person perfectly. Each person is perfectly made by Him who is perfection. The Lord in His great mercy and wisdom allows perfect imperfections within His creation. It is these imperfections that are used by the Lord to bring the human to the fullness of glory in the Lord. These imperfections therefore become the perfect gifts that our love and witness unwraps within our children.

It is evident that you have a heart and a spirit that not only loves and celebrates your dear child but has the potential to feel great sorrow for those times when your little boy does not see himself as the gift he surely is. This is powerful. Very powerful. In this spirit of sorrow you, as this dear child's mother, are willing to go to the end of the earth for his well being. Powerful. The Lord empowers women/mothers differently than our dear husbands. Our husbands are empowered with a certain strength to uplift and encourage us to go forward into the work of mothering. They protect the bond between mother and child.

I would encourage you to look critically at the materials you are currently using. Take a very careful look at the materials and the curriculum that you are using and see if there are modifications that are possible to retool their effectiveness with regard to your dear son. I would also encourage you to discuss your challenges with your dear son's health care providers. I am certain that you have many dedicated people that are currently helping you to understand the depth of Asperger's. It is the advice of these persons that will most clearly give you the full picture of the great potential possible in your little boy. Remember that when children talk in a negative way it can mean many, many things. It could be that you should mention these developments to your son's health care provider. This rhetoric may actually be a symptom of a condition or state of mind unique to your son's condition. Knowing how he is feeling at this time could possibly give the persons who are caring for him information that could help you to understand his state of mind as well.

Sometimes when people speak of themselves in such ways they are experiencing emotions as complex as depression or sorrow. It is important that you and your husband go forward into solutions to challenges. I admire you very much. You are a powerful witness of the great devotion and love that a parent lovingly pours out for their child. Please allow the Lord to work with you. Give the Lord His time with you. You are on a journey and the sweet Jesus is eager to guide and direct your movements. Sit quietly before the Blessed Sacrament and let the Lord cover your concerns and confusion with His Peace.

Your letter has been a beautiful witness. Thank you for sharing your letter with other moms. I believe that your letter has helped many more moms than you can imagine.

Let us pray together a Hail Mary for the needs of all special needs children and their care givers. Let us offer up our prayers for those families that are only just now beginning the journey into understanding all that must be learned about a certain challenge. Lord, we ask that You surround this dear mother with Your loving arms. Allow that Your strength embrace her spirit and give her the courage to rest there with You. We love You, Lord, and long to see Your face. Amen.

Sending out a prayer,

Rita Munn

   
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