Dear Mom,

It has been my experience with youngsters at this age that they are learning to be diplomats. They test the waters routinely to see if they can behave a certain way or not. They quite remember when they were very small and their demands were met with relative ease. They can observe other small children and are very sensitive to the 'whiny' attitude that in some cases is rewarded. They want to be in control of their environment and desire to find a level of control that is acceptable. Many times it is this 'testing' that brings about the most angst for a child. They seem to do much better with reasonable limits that spell out clearly what will and will not be accepted.

Let's assume that your little girl has found a method of testing the waters. Now ask yourself how would you respond if the situation were different. Suppose for example you were taking her to the pediatrician for immunizations. Would you allow negotiations? Would you allow a tug of war about what was going to be done? I don't think so. We can be firm in our attitude without being unfeeling and rude. We can tell our children the way something is going to be and that is the way it will be done. This actually helps a small child. The constant possibility of changing courses is confusing not only for the parent but the child as well.

Certainly a choice or a say in matters is far more beneficial than 'giving in' to a demand. This I believe is the real issue at the heart of the discussion. It is not necessary for you to defend the method of curriculum that you will be using with your little girl. This only gives her fuel for future negotiations. Better to sit with her and show her the materials and explain that you would appreciate her input concerning the method of usage and the amount of work expected. This gives her a real sense of control without the confusion of her having to make 'adult' choices about curriculum. It is always best for parents to show confidence in our methods so as to instill confidence in our children.

CHC materials are very user friendly. Though this is important I think that their greatest strength is the amount of parental judgment that is encouraged in the day to day teaching. No one knows your child better than yourself. It is in this knowledge that a mom/teacher finds her best asset. Not only are the materials designed to be tools for the parent but they are designed to give the most impact in tutorial for the least amount of work. This is not to say that the materials do not encourage a student to work effectively but that CHC understands that tedious, time consuming work can extinguish the fire of learning. Children are designed to learn. They are in effect learning machines. They are eager to learn new things and to experience new situations. It is this beauty of a child's method of learning that is celebrated each time we begin to instruct our children. Remember that the best classroom is the one that takes a student on a life long journey of discovery. The classroom is only the start.

I believe that your little girl has in you a mom that is sensitive and caring. You have a heart for your girls and are eager to understand their needs and to explore ways in which you can meet these needs. This is of the Holy Spirit. Remember that it is the Lord that calls you into this vocation and He will never fail to inspire and empower you along the way. I admire your sweet docile spirit.

Let us pray together a Hail Mary for all those children that find themselves in situations whereby the adults that care for them do not care to understand their unique needs and learning styles. Lord, we ask that our prayers be united with the prayers of other moms this day and that through those prayers children who are compromised may find a haven of understanding and hope. We love You, Lord, and long to see Your face. Amen.

Sending out a prayer,

Rita Munn