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Home > Support > Homeschooling > How do I balance 4 children homeschooling while trying to keep a toddler quiet and busy?
 
 
Question: My 7 yo daughter wants so badly for me to sit and homeschool along with the 4 yo. That's great, but she seems to keep after me when I am helping someone or tending to the toddler. How do I balance 4 children homeschooling while trying to keep a toddler quiet and busy? At the end of the day I don't have any energy to check the 14 yo's work and certainly not to try and homeschool the 7 yo. Help! Also, Dad does not help with any teaching or checking of work.
Answer:

Dear Mom,

The challenges that you are facing are the type that have the potential to derail your efforts in the homeschool. Many times we find that we are pulled in different directions making the transition to more structured time of study difficult. Let's look at some of the issues that you are facing.

Of all the children in your homeschool the older three children probably need the most structured of efforts. Your 14 year old should have a time with you that is uninterrupted and focused. This gives the child the message that his/her time spent in independent study is important. Certainly we should encourage our highschool age children to work on their own and help them to establish a positive work ethic but they really need the feedback that our participation provides. It is during this time of one on one tutorial that we are able to pick up on clues that might tell us the problem areas our children are dealing with. For example, if Math is the challenge that your highschooler deals with on a particular day, then your time spent with him/her will give you insight into how he/she is managing. When we make this time spent with the student a priority then the student will make his efforts a priority as well.

The 7 year old needs to be establishing an independent spirit with regards to her school work as well. This is not to say that she is supposed to work entirely on her own, that would be counterproductive. However she needs to be able to do a certain amount of her study by herself and return to you to show you her progress. There are times when the work done by a 4 year old and a 7 year old can be combined but those times are few. The majority of your 7 year old's work should be independent of the 4 year old. It would be better if you combined the efforts with her 10 year old sibling. The 10 year old has the maturity to stay on task and not distract the younger child's efforts.

Try to begin your day with your top three children in the formal setting of homeschool. Allow that the younger children will play or even watch something suitable on the television while you begin your instruction and get the school aged children's day kicked off. Give each of them a set amount of work to have accomplished independently according to their skill and ability. Then as they are working on their studies give your efforts over to the younger children. These efforts would certainly be not nearly as focused on formal schooling as they would be focused upon day to day activities (getting dressed, simple chores, and outdoor play, etc.). In this way you are able to give the younger children a good amount of time allowing you to meet their needs and get them settled before you check in again with the older children. Try to develop a pattern whereby you are allowing the school age children the time to work on their own and then they bring the work to you.

At the end of the day have a time when you can sit with the children and check in about their day in the homeschool. Perhaps this is a good time to discuss challenges and grade papers. I like to call this time 'checking time'. Each child has time with me in order that I can tie up the loose ends of their day and see if they are being responsible for the amount of work they were given. It has always helped me to begin my week with lesson plans in place and complete. In this way students can take their lesson plan and work independently without waiting on me to assign work. For me the small interruptions of family life are a reality that must be embraced and worked around. Remember that homeschool is not our bringing the public school mindset to our homes but instead our allowing that we school through the rhythm of our homes. There has to be a certain amount of give and take but there must be a certain amount of structure as well.

I know that you are a caring and creative mom. I can sense in your letter and by number of years that you have been homeschooling that you are aware of the challenges that you are beginning to face as the highschool years approach for all your children. You are wise to start now to set down a pattern of study and attention that will allow you to face the upcoming challenges with ease.The rules do change so to speak as the rhythm of our household changes. This is the beauty of being flexible and open to the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. Have a family talk with all the children and enlist their invaluable help. Ask them to describe the challenges as they see them. I am always uplifted by the creativity of my children when it comes time to work through a challenge.

I hope these few suggestions will be a catalyst to help you further explore alternatives and solutions. I am humbled by the efforts of the many moms whom I meet through this ministry. They, like yourself, are working diligently to follow the Lord's will, work patiently and with great care, to homeschool. Their dedication and resolve are amazing and very uplifting. Keep praying and keep after the Holy Spirit to guide you and direct your efforts.

Let us pray. Lord, we ask that You surround this dear mom with inspirations that will give her the necessary tools to meet the challenges that she is facing. Lord, we know that nothing happens in our life without Your permission and it is in this knowledge that we trust You alone will give us the necessary tools to overcome the challenges that we face. Lord, we ask that this dear mom's household run smoothly and that she have the benefit of a healthy pregnancy as she journeys through this season. Lord, please keep her husband healthy and capable allowing him to provide adequately for his family. Amen.

Sending out a prayer,

Rita Munn

   
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