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Question:

I am going to pull out my 7th grader out of school to homeschool. He is way behind in some subjects. My son has Asperger's disorder, OCD, ADHD, Tourette's syndrome and a learning disability. He has a grade 3 math level, yet his reading ability is really good, but comprehension and remembering is bad. Can CHC meet his needs? Or should I go with a home schooling curriculum with a special needs department? My boy is failing Science, too. As a high func. autistic kid, he loves his computer, but is on it too much. He seems kind of lost without it---like it is part of his self identity.

My 2nd grader has Asperger's disorder, too, and oppositional defiant disorder, and my 4th grader has ADD pretty good, too. I may homeschool the 4th grader, too, since he is so forgetful in school and is in trouble all the time. Also, my husband works a full time job, but has poor health, so I do a lot of inside and outside work, and I take care of my mentally ill mom on Saturdays at my dad's house (she acts like a 12 year old. I have been doing this for 17 years and I am 41!) Too many crosses! Now homeschooling---I hope I can do it. Thank you and God bless.

Answer:

Dear Mom,

God love you. You are overwhelmed, aren't you? Bless your heart, I want to begin this letter to you with prayer.

Dearest Jesus, we love You and long to see the glory of Your sweet and tender face. Please allow that our dear sister in Christ know in a tangible way the power of Your love and care for each of Your precious little ones, especially those that are hurting or are overwhelmed with sorrow and burden. Lord, we ask that Your arms surround her at this moment and that she experience the great blessing of knowing the peace that passes all understanding and the great power of that peace in times of tumult. Allow that Your Holy Spirit guide and direct her efforts with regards to the educational needs of her son. St. Angela Merici, pray for us. St. Faustina, pray for us. Amen.

My first thought as I read your letter was as follows. Perhaps you should speak to the counselor that has been in charge of designing your son's curriculum needs (in the public school) up to this point. I think that this person would have the clearest insights as to the needs your son presents and the way those needs can best be met through homeschooling. I trust that you are in communication with your son's health care provider and here too you will most certainly find a person willing to speak to the special concerns that you are raising with regards to your son's educational needs.

When you ask if CHC can meet the needs of your son I think that there is some clarification necessary. CHC is merely a provider of curriculum as is nearly every curriculum provider on the market. True, some of those providers will offer counseling, grade keeping, and diploma services but without the day-to-day contact so vital to the educational process it is but a poor substitute for a well rounded education. Without diminishing the worthy efforts of Catholic curriculum providers, the fact is that unless a teacher (yourself or another) is working one on one with your son there is really no way a curriculum provider can fully understand the intricate dimensions your son presents. Homeschooling is not schooling done through the efforts of a curriculum provider. It is however schooling done within the home by someone who is willing to devote the time and effort to see that the education of the child is administered and monitored.

With that understood let us take a look at the priorities that should be at the forefront of your choice when it comes time to select a curriculum for your son. You are the one who must work with the curriculum. You are the one that will bear the greatest burden of responsibility. No matter that there may be a counselor on the other end of the phone line or on the computer working with you, you will carry the heaviest burden of responsibility. How do you want to handle the teaching efforts of your son? You will be there day to day to see his progress or challenges and you will be the one who will need to be able to work with the curriculum in order to best suit the needs of your son. Pray to know your priorities. Do you need flexibility in curriculum, do you need each day's work spelled out clearly with no room for change, do you need to know that your son is performing at grade level, and most of all how will your son work with you to accomplish his education? These are important concerns and ones that we must address when selecting a curriculum. Because I do not know your son or you or the way the two of you interact or your family dynamics I can not possibly know which curriculum is best for you.

However I can tell you one thing that I know. You love your dear son very much. You have at the heart of your desires that he be well educated and that he be able to progress at a rate that best suits his needs. You desire that your son be holy, happy, and able to enter the world with the fullest potential possible. You are sacrificial in your love, as your needs are not the greater priority but the needs of your dear children. In my mind the Lord will honor such a woman's request to know the correct path. Jesus has given you these dear children because He knew from all Eternity that you would be the best mother for them. You are the best mother because the Lord has put you in this position. Take a few moments to fully comprehend what that means. It means that there will be difficult choices to make along the way of parenting but the Lord will empower you to go forward. Pray carefully and with a docile heart to know what is the best course of action for your son. Nothing breaks a mother's tender heart faster than the thought that her child has a low self esteem or in some way does not feel worthy. Before I would venture into homeschooling I would resolve the issue of self esteem and speak tenderly and candidly with my son and determine the full depth of the challenges that he faces.

I admire you very much. You are truly a powerful witness of mothering. Take joy in knowing that the Lord finds you not only worthy but His precious little one in need of loving attention as well. I will be praying for you each day on the 4th Glorious Mystery.

Sending out a prayer,

Rita Munn