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Home > Support > Homeschooling > My 9th grade son has Asperger's Syndrome and struggles socially...
 
 
Question: My son has asperger's syndrome. He is currently in the 9th grade at a very small Catholic high school. He struggles socially which causes anxiety and interferes with his academics. He does not have a learning disability. He reads at the 11th grade level, however his comprehension is much lower. He does not test well and is lower in grade level math. He is flunking many of his classes and has low motivation. He has high ambitions but does not comprehend what it takes to reach those goals. He has asked me for 3 years to homeschool him...mainly because of the cruel teasing and bullying he has experienced for most of his schooling. His developmental pediatrician who just tested him recommended a smaller load, she suggested maybe three to start with. He is very spiritual and we attend Mass daily. I would like some advice on how to get started and with what types of classes to begin with. I am very concerned about my son and his hurt and low self esteem.
Answer:

Dear Mom,

I am so uplifted by your powerful witness. It is such a humbling experience to read your letter and sense the love and devotion you have for your son and the challenges that he presents. What a blessing for this dear child that you are his mother. Praise God for His awesome care for each of His precious little ones.

Let's begin at the start. I think that you have correctly identified the greater need at this junction in your son's academic life. His feelings of unworthiness and anxiety must be addressed first and most importantly or else all the academic disciplines will be in vain. How do you feel you can best meet those needs?

To my mind I think that the answer rests in the statement that you made concerning the boy's pediatrician. A light load of work to start with will most certainly boost his self esteem. Nothing fosters success like success. That is so true isn't it? I sense that your son is articulate and more than able to express his desires (especially with those persons with whom he feels comfortable). I would ask him which subjects he would like to work through at first. Perhaps he has a particular fondness for a discipline of study that he would very much like to pursue with great eagerness. It would be very therapeutic for your son to see that he is not only bright but that he is able to master skills that present themselves. Do not think just in terms of books, remember that there is a greater dimension of learning that has for many years gone wanting. Hands on learning or creative endeavors using artistic tools (painting, sculpting, etc.) are extremely useful to find the inner peace that is so wanting in those whose spirits have been wounded. Many a hurting person has found not only their medicine but their vocation through creative endeavors. I do not think that the computer is necessarily a substitute for true hands-on artistic work. All humans are artistic to a degree. It is in our nature to create and to behold what we have built, painted, cooked, or drawn. This outlet is important.

I would address the areas of his academics that are the most wanting. If math is a challenge then this is certainly where I would begin. I would address the need that he be able to comprehend what he has read. Now you can see how important this is going to be to his overall success. In other words I would address those challenges that represent the greatest need in terms of his ability to function in the world. He must be able to understand fundamental math and to read and comprehend.

Subjects like history, science and language can be added as your son is able to take on that responsibility. Please consider the advice of his pediatrician. This person knows from another viewpoint the particular needs that your son will have with regard to education.

You are so blest that you have at the heart of your desires a heart for your child. Your child is blest as well. Surely in the time that will unfold you are going to begin to see the path more clearly with regards to the challenges that are presented in your son. Jesus knew that you would be the perfect mother for this dear child and He gave this child to you. In that knowledge alone you can take great comfort. Go forward. You already receive the most wonderful and certainly the most powerful medicine known to man..the Holy Eucharist. You are taking unto yourself the Precious Body of the Sweet Jesus each day. In that you will find great comfort. Jesus will inspire and empower you to know the correct approach to the academics needs of your son.

Dearest Jesus, we ask that You send persons into the life of all those who are hurting today that will bring the comfort of Your healing love. Lord, please inspire and empower our dear sister in Christ that she be able to know the correct method of approaching the academics needs of her son. Lord, we offer our prayers today for all those who are treated cruelly in the world. Lord, we ask that Your tender embrace be felt by these persons and that they know in that instant that You are with them and are there to guide and uplift. We love You, Lord, and long to see Your face. Amen.

Sending out a prayer,

Rita Munn

   
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