Dear Mom,

Sometimes when we moms are facing struggles in our little homeschools we see them as enormous obstacles and more the fault of homeschooling than the normal challenges that are present in all 8 year old children. Many of us do not have the advantage of teaching degrees and therefore we are too quick to 'blame' challenges upon our own lack of experience. My degree is in obstetrical nursing and in the medical arena I am very comfortable to allow that certain challenges are just part of the game (for example: First time labors are normally 12-24 hours but can be as short as 8-10 hours in length. However there are many variables in each woman who labors and for this reason we never say 'always' or 'never'. It is more important to trust the body and allow that each woman's labor will be perfectly suited to her and her needs.) Now rereading that statement would probably give you much to think about wouldn't it? It tells you that a woman's labor is unique but there are certain constant, though flexible rules that are present in all labors. Now think using this same logic to your homeschool experience.

Most 8 year old children are still quite immature and lack the ability to fully understand the importance of neat, legible, and accurate work. They see the job of 'finishing the page' as the task at hand, not the correctness of the work accomplished. To a small child just having the page completed (neat, messy, correct, wrong or whatever makes no difference) as the goal. Children are not small adults but instead children whose needs are unique and perfectly suited to their nature. With that said, it does not mean that it is strange to find that one in several 8 year old children that throughly loves to do paper work and will strive to complete the page with accuracy and neatness.

Please remember that because a child is unique his needs are unique as well. For many, many years people in charge of children thought that a child was more or less an adult that hadn't bloomed so to speak. Childhood and all that went with it was tolerated until the child reached an age whereby they were an adult. However we know more and more about the true nature of childhood and we are striving to learn more and more about childhood and its unique challenges. It really isn't even fair to say 'challenges' because what appears to try the adult is indeed accepted by the child because of their childhood.

Where does that leave a parent? First we must realize that the lesson is not the answers on the paper but the doing of the paper itself for its own worth. I am not at all surprised that your little girl is working in this manner. This is very typical of an 8 year old. In fact this is the first lesson that a classroom teacher must teach. A teacher must show her small charges the importance of completing work in a timely manner and to do so neatly and as correctly as possible. Now work with me mentally for just a moment. Imagine that you are teaching your little girl to swim. Would you place her in the deepest end of the pool? Suppose you did put her in such a situation, would you be angry with her when she sputtered and slapped the water franticly desiring only to get out of the water? Afterward would you scold her because her stroke form was incomplete, sloppy, and poorly executed? Certainly not. However you would probably start her out very carefully and with great patience sitting first only on the side of pool in the shallow end. You would take great care to explain the importance of water safety, the meaning and purpose of each stroke, the technique of floating and so on.

There may be those 'adults' who lack the remembrance of their first days in the water who would see your method of teaching as didactic and slow. Obviously they can not remember the importance of laying a good foundation when teaching any skill. It has been my experience over and over again, that teaching small children is like building a wood stack for a campfire. We build it carefully and with great purpose. We take the time to lay each small piece of dry wood in a pattern that will permit the blaze access to all the sticks and plenty of air flow as to ensure a warm hot blaze. We fill in the gaps with scrapes of crumbled paper so that in those areas the blaze will find tender that supports the flame. When the time comes one match and the blaze takes off.....filling the night sky with a blaze so brilliant, sure, and clean that it can be seen from far off.

Educating children is a time consuming yet highly rewarding experience. We must remember that the priorities are not the answers necessarily but the zeal with which we instill in the child to have a heart for learning. This comes from large doses of praise and enormous patience borne of prayer and grace. We build upon each experience and we keep placing information in front of the child that is suited to their style of learning. We wait, we wait, and we never stop working to help this child become a 'learner'. Then one day when we least expect it will happen.....one spark......the fire is ablaze.

Try to look carefully at the papers or work assignment that you are giving your little girl. See if there are needs that should be addressed before you continue with the next lesson. Give praise and a small reward for work well done. My youngest is 13 years old and she loves to get a sticker on her papers. All the children that I teach enjoy praise and a sticker as well. heehee Find an empty wall and display work that is worthy of such an honor. Make a big to do when your little girl has clearly given her all and presents you with a job well done. Be patient and remember teaching her to do her work carefully is far more important than can be realized. The seed of diligent work will one day grow into an adult that is trusted for her accuracy and attention to small details.

You are a wonderful and lovely mommy. You have a heart for children. You are struggling now because your heart is telling you what is important but your mind is fighting the heart. Trust in your heart and allow that the Lord is working through you to bring the love of learning to your dear children. Go easy on yourself and give yourself plenty of time to teach the foundational concepts that will ensure success later. I admire you and consider you to be a great blessing to your young family. They have in you a real treasure.

Jesus, please be with our dear sister in Christ as she travels this journey. She is struggling to find a place of peace through many challenges. Please empower her docile heart to open wide for the wisdom of the Holy Spirit. Lord, I ask that she be given the great benefit of plenty of rest and good food to nourish her as she carries this new pregnancy. Please allow that her husband remain strong and steadfast working to provide for his family. Surround this family with Your embrace as they mature and work through each of the challenges that You alone allow. Amen.

Sending out a prayer,

Rita Munn