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Home > Support > Homeschooling > Although I am home with my kids I feel like I am missing out on just "being with them"...
 
 
Question: We are approaching our fourth year of homeschooling and I need some advice. I was ready to throw in the towel but my husband has asked me to give it another year, so here I am. The first few years were nice. I had things I wanted to do that didn't get done but we did what we could do and were content. Since the birth of my son things have been much more difficult. I used to teach Kindergarten and I love a nice orderly environment, the Montessori concept with everything in it's place is my unrealistic dream. I struggle with letting kids be kids and having my own sanity. I don't want to ruin my poor children or be on them constantly but I really can't think in a cluttered environment. I am constantly struggling with my own frustration. I keep re-committing myself to focusing on the basics and trying to at least pray a family/daily decade of the Rosary, have 15 minutes of personal prayer time...only to continually fail. It seems like the day is gone before I know what happened and I am constantly putting out fires...living moment to moment. My oldest is very headstrong and has her own ideas about things. If I turn my back for a second with the toddler she is involved in some major project usually involving lots of glue. I have read "A Mother's Rule for Life" but can't seem to make it work with the ages I'm dealing with. I want to cherish these years and although I am home with my kids I feel like I am missing out on just "being with them." Any advice for this upcoming year would be greatly appreciated. God bless!
Answer:

Dear Mom,

It is obvious by your lovely letter that you truly have a teacher's heart. Let me make an observation and at the same time share with you an experience that I had earlier this week.

I had the occasion of shopping in our local teacher supply store. This store is incredibly stocked with all sorts of materials that teachers would find useful. I often go there looking for the latest in classroom aids for the students that I teach in our homeschool cooperative. Naturally, as this is close to the time when school will begin for our county, the store was quite crowded with teachers. They shopped busily for all manner of supplies from bulletin board notions to reward stickers. They seemed quite eager to share with one another all the plans they had made over the summer to prepare their respective classrooms to accept the arrival of new students. I could appreciate their enthusiasm as my own daughter is a teacher and I often hear her speak with excitement about getting her own 'space' ready for the students. It occurred to me that those who are 'teachers' at heart find the organizing and the preparations of the classroom to be at least as much of a delightful challenge as teaching itself. It appears that these women in the store were eager to get started on their plans for teaching and have found that a well organized classroom space with everything in its place plays a very real part in the whole experience.

Your being a teacher it is understandable that you are seeking the same type of order in your homeschool as you found helpful in your classroom. There is nothing at all wrong with this feeling and in fact to deny it would be more harmful to your ability to teach with a peaceful manner. It is quite alright for you to work through a doable plan to right what you see as wrong in your teaching environment.

Mind you I have been in many homeschool homes. Each one is as individual as the dear moms who live there. We must allow that when we are praying for the help of the Holy Spirit it is clear that we need to be open to the inspirations that we see as workable. I can not nor would I attempt to tell you what you need to do to make your home a peaceful and workable space. In the same respect what works for me may not be at all suitable for you. The only real truth is this: Jesus loves you dearly and He longs to inspire, empower, and lead you gently to those lifestyles that will make it easier for you to put Him at the center of all you do.

Your wanting to create time for prayer and especially family prayer is testimony enough of your desire to do just that. Go forward into your challenges. Speak with your husband and come up with a plan that works for your home. Do not be afraid to change your tactics if it becomes clear that what you are doing is not working for you or your family.

I admire you very much and sense in you a woman who has a real heart for children and the vocation of teaching. I believe that when you feel confident about applying the principles of your experience that served you well in the secular arena of teaching you will find that teaching in the homeschool is really about the love of learning. Your enthusiasm and infectious desire to impart a real joy for learning will be your best asset and your greatest gift to your dear children.

Let us pray together this afternoon for all those adults who will stand in front of children as the school year begins. Let us pray that they have at the heart of their teaching a sincere desire to nurture and care for the children in their charge. Lord, please empower them to do what is best for the children that will have the benefit of their witness. Amen.

Sending out a prayer,

Rita Munn

   
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