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Question: I want to start homeschooling my 11 year old daughter, but she does not want to. She cries and says that she likes her school very much and that she will miss her friends. She told me that I want to pull her out of school just because that is something I want to do (homeschool her). She is going to a charter school and the classroom is facing a lot of discipline problems and the teacher just does not know what to do anymore. A lot of her classes are being taught by volunteer parents and the parents are divided on their ideas and opinions on discipline and the way the teacher does her work. How can I convince my daughter to accept being homeschooled without me having to force her? I want her to be in agreement with me because otherwise, I am afraid that she will not want to cooperate with me. Thank you and God bless you.
Answer:

Dear Mom,

The times that I believe dedicated and loving parents find the most challenging are not those times when our children need our nurturing (children who are ill or facing a crisis, etc.) but those times when we must parent and meet the exacting and sharp disapproval of our children. In those times when we have examined all our options and through prayer have decided upon a certain course of action, we must go forward into the work and path that we feel is best. I have been homeschooling a number of years and I will tell you that at least once a year the subject of 'going to the highschool with all my friends' comes up. The discussions are usually sincere in that the child that desires this is truly wanting this option. However my husband and myself have very definite reasons for homeschooling and though we have outlined these to our children many times it seems that we must continue to do so. Sometimes we must just do what we feel is best and pray for the grace and the strength to go forward into what we believe to be the Lord's will for our children.

I would suggest that you continue to pray and work to find the words to explain how you feel to your daughter. But when all is said and done it is the parent that must make the choice and follow through with the work required. Sometimes we can not have the good fortune of having our children agree with us, however we must stand firm and go forward. I have found that it is sometimes and in some situations, pointless to try and persuade someone we love through words. Many times we must allow that two people will disagree and let actions and outcome win the argument. St. Francis is quoted as saying, "Teach always and when you have to, use words."

Be understanding and ready to talk to your daughter about her concerns but in the same respect be sure in your actions. Sometimes children find that they are more confused and upset by a parent who appears or seems to be unsure of their parenting. Introduce your daughter to other homeschooling families and let her learn that this is not an unusual option but a wonderful mainstream method of education.

Please begin (if you have not already done so) the tradition of family prayer. In our time together in prayer we come before the Lord with all of our concerns and are able to feel His presence and empowerment. Family prayer pulls families together and allows that they become united to the will of the Lord.

Let us pray this morning for all those families that are experiences increasing pressure to follow the path of least resistance. Let us offer our prayers for these families that are striving to do the Lord's will despite many difficulties. Amen.

Sending out a prayer,

Rita Munn

   
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