Dear Mom,

Thank you very much for being so patient in waiting for the reply to your letter. I have had some serious computer issues that prayerfully are on the mend.

Let me begin by saying that shortly after receiving your letter my computer became disabled leaving me with quite a bit of time to think about your question. In the Lord's tender mercy and wisdom it seems that there arose several opportunities for me to hear other women express the same sentiments that you are presently having to deal with. It was interesting because each of the women that I was in conversation with have been homeschooling for quite some time (one for over 20 years!). I think that it may be very helpful to you (as it was quite helpful for me) to read the sentiments that were expressed by these moms just like you and I.

The moms all agreed that homeschooling does not eliminate the normal parenting challenges that are part of the experience when raising children. Children must be taught to deal with the disagreements and confrontations that are bound to occur as they work and play together. It is very important to note that some moms say that homeschooling while not eliminating such battles has helped them to counter these times effectively and in a timely fashion. It seems that when the siblings are separated from one another for long periods of time and are together at the end of the day they have a difficult time readjusting to the need to cooperate etc. But what is important to keep uppermost in our hearts is the truth that the Lord wants us to deal with these challenges and He will empower and inspire us to do so.

Remember that when we are facing issues of discipline in the home this is the priority with regard to the homeschooling vocation. It is important to remember that homeschooling is about training a child and in this work we will see a benefit in each aspect of our parenting. If a mom faces discipline issues then this is the lesson for the day. Allowing behavior which is counterproductive to a peaceful home is hurtful and in the long run wastes precious time which is better spent on teaching. I am sure that you can see the worth of this wisdom in your own situation. Each time that you spend ending an argument or breaking up a battle is not only draining for you but detracts from the goals that you set for the day.

Having said all this let us return to the idea of vocation and the homeschooling lifestyle. If the Lord calls us into a vocation then it is important to remember that He calls us into a lifestyle as well. We can not separate one from the other. In the lifestyle of homeschooling there are going to be challenges but these challenges should not make us question the calling. In other words, we should feel a sense of peace despite the challenges that we are facing. In fact we should feel a sense of empowerment to meet the challenges through the context of our lifestyle. Just as we said before, homeschooling does not take away the normal challenges that parents are going to face when raising children but it does allow that parents can work through the challenges through the lifestyle of homeschooling.

The first step in the journey, when working to discern whether or not you are in the correct vocation, is prayer. Take time away from homeschooling and allow yourself quiet time in prayer. Sit before the Blessed Sacrament for a short time after Mass (perhaps your dear husband would watch the children while you do so). Allow yourself to rest in the peace of the Lord. Speak to Him about your questions and pour out your heart to Him concerning your confusion. Then sit in the silence of the next few moments. Listen to the Lord speak to you and you will find the guidance that you are seeking.

Take each day and decide that you are going to meet one parenting challenge each day. Suppose it is the constant bickering that troubles you most, then naturally this is the most pressing homeschooling challenge to meet. No matter whether our children are in the public school or the homeschool, they must learn to get along in a group and cooperate. It is as though the Lord is outlining the priorities for you for the day.

Pray with your children each morning before you start schooling. Have your children pray for one another. It is very powerful for young children to be able to pray for their brothers and sisters. This time of prayer need not be long but it should be wholly reverent and peaceful.

Give yourself a vacation from schooling and concentrate on mothering your dear children. An elementary teacher that I admire once told me that being all the mother one could be would ensure that I was all the teacher I could be as well. I have taken those words to heart especially during times of confusion and frustration. One week will not damage your teaching goals especially if during that week you are able to discern the correct path to take.

I admire you very much as it is obvious that you are seeking to know God's will for you and for your family. This is to be admired no matter the situation your family is in. Please know that you are now enfolded within a body of moms just like yourself, who will be praying for you each and every day. You will be in my morning prayers as I take my walk and work throughout my day. Rest peacefully in the Lord's embrace through prayer and allow Him to gently guide you along this journey to understanding your vocation to the homeschooling lifestyle.

Let us offer up our prayers this morning for all those moms who find that they are facing family challenges that cause them to become weary and unable. Let us ask that they are able to feel the power of prayer through the loving concern of those who come forward and offer to help them meet the challenges that they are currently facing whether that be sick children to sick family members. Lord we love You and ask for the graces necessary to work each day in Your peace knowing that the work ahead is holy work of Your will. Amen.

Sending out a prayer,

Rita Munn