It is in moments like this that I am acutely aware of the physical limitations of this ministry. I want so very much to be there for you in person. I am certain that many moms reading this letter feel the same way. However your letter has given to me an immense blessing from the Lord. Your letter is indeed confirmation of the power of prayer. Though you were heavy burden at the moment you wrote your beautiful letter, you understood the power in prayer. For you see it is the request that meant the most to you with which you ended your letter.
I was moved to think that even under the burden of fear (a sure sign of the Tempter's unfair advantage) you are strong enough spiritually to ask for prayer. Praise God for such a witness. I am humbled in the face of such faith. Thank you.
Remember that a six year old is still a very young student and as such her academic needs are not as complicated as it may appear on the surface. With the right kind of simple workbooks and plenty of encouragement, she is quite able to work independently for short periods of time. Many times young students are easily frustrated with busy work, or talky instructions which belabor the issues you are trying to help her understand. Stickers, holy cards, rewards, and awards are wonderfully positive methods to build her willingness to learn for the purity of the lesson. Children this age love to excel and compete. They are eager to please. It would be my suggestion to study the CHC catalog and ascertain the difference between core subjects (those that should be accomplished daily) and those that can be taught weekly (these are usually subjects that lend themselves to more flexibility). Even public school teachers must organize and prioritize their time according to the criterion of core subjects versus non core subjects. At your daughter's level her core subjects are reading, reading comprehension, writing, math, and religion. She should be able to accomplish her work in approximately 2 hours.
Let's address the other issues that you have raised in your letter. It is not a sign of weakness to feel overwhelmed and physically tired, especially when caring for the very demanding needs of small children. I always felt this more acutely in the winter months. Being indoors with small children and the inevitable clutter is mentally confining and certainly physically exhausting. Though we can only strive to achieve what is possible considering the limits of our household, we should aim for some sense of order. Having a rough schedule that is a guideline more than a strict time frame, gives us some control over the workload without compromising needs. In other words, it may be better for you to do school in the evening when your husband is home to help with the younger children. It may be that if the younger children take a nap, this may be a better time for school. I am reluctant to outline a day for you as I do not fully understand the workings of your household. Pray for the Holy Spirit to empower you with ideas and creative methods to work out your day so that you are better able to meet the demands of small children and your very real need for rest and nourishment.
Let me say this. When we allow a spirit of fear to engulf our hearts we are in effect covering the eyes of our soul with a veil. This veil makes it difficult for us to comprehend the path that the Lord would have us travel. It is as though the good and tender Jesus is trying to lead us, but we are blinding ourselves to his instructions because the veil of fear covers our eyes. The Lord does not give us a spirit of fear. Fear is from the Tempter. He uses fear to his advantage and clouds our mind with thoughts that are not necessary or helpful. Fear cripples us and makes movement impossible.
You are a dear daughter of the Lord Jesus and He alone leads you. Jesus does not want you to feel the kind of fear that makes you sad or burdened. He desires to take away this fear and replace it with empowerment. You are hearing the Lord's call. He is telling you to reach out for prayer and guidance. He is assuring you that He will be here for you. However remember and believe this important and vital truth: Jesus can move mountains, there is no problem that is beyond His care and power. Nothing will separate you from the Life Giver and Lord.
Please sit quietly before the Blessed Sacrament and ask that you be surrounded by His light. Breathe slowly and relax your mind and body. Take into account all the things that are on your heart. Jesus wants so very much to listen to all that you want to tell Him. He loves you dearly and tenderly. You are His precious little one.
I know that my words are feeble in comparison to the real needs that you have. If it were within my power I would come to your home and help out in whatever way you needed. Until the good Jesus makes that possible I want you to know that you have my prayers. And as you have witnessed: Prayer is powerful. The Lord takes our offering of prayer and multiplies it beyond our comprehension. Do not neglect the nourishment of the Holy Eucharist. If the hem of Jesus' garment was powerful think how much more so His precious Body brings healing and empowerment. Empowerment is the Holy Spirit's way of giving us the knowledge and skills to work through difficulties.
Jesus, we ask for a special anointing of the Holy Spirit upon our dear sister in Christ. Jesus, she is in a spiritual battle. Please take the spirit of fear out of her life and replace it with the empowerment of Your Holy Spirit. Allow her the rest and nourishment that is necessary to help her feel physically capable and able to hear the promptings of the Spirit. Jesus, guard and protect her. Send legions of angels to surround her home and shower her with the knowledge of Your loving care for her. We love her, Lord, and long to see her comforted and lifted up by Your power. Amen.
Sending out a prayer,