Dear Mom,

Your reasons for homeschooling are certainly worthy and holy. No one wants to hear a young child or any child for that matter repeat disturbing information about friends. It draws a chord within us and we seek to mend the problem. This is good. I would imagine that the Lord put it upon your heart to homeschool and that this is the reason that you moved in this direction.

Let's look at the journey. I am going to just throw some thoughts out to you and you pick up or lay down what you think may be unique to your situation. Many times we moms are so passionate about our children that we forget that there is another parent to consider. When I was a young mom, I was extremely possessive of the care that was given to the babies. It was as though my husband could not even change a diaper to suit me. I was the resident expert in all things parental. :) This sounds funny now but it created quite a challenge in our parenting. My husband became timid in his approach because he felt unsure of himself. I became exhausted and irritable because I felt that I was the only person who could do things right.

Children must learn to work independently in order to develop a healthy work ethic that will serve them well throughout their life. I wonder if you are reaching the time in your homeschooling whereby your son needs to work independently but finds this tedious and a bit boring. He is so accustomed to your being there to help with the answers and such that he finds your presence more of a crutch than anything else. Ask yourself this question. Will I be going with my son to college? Will I be there with him when he begins his first job? We do our children a disservice by not moving to the next level of homeschooling. However at the same time there needs to be a certain amount of accountability upon the part of the student. Perhaps this is where your husband can be of great assistance.

Have your son bring his school work to your husband each evening or at least every other evening for his approval. Let your husband be the one who decides whether there should be privileges awarded based upon the merit of the accomplished school work.

Speak candidly with your husband. Do not let the Tempter allow that this challenge go unanswered. It is the Tempter's way to isolate and confuse us. In this way the Tempter can use our anger and confusion to distort the truth. I sense that the truth in this matter is this, your husband does not know where to jump in and homeschool. You have been doing such a wonderful job that he may feel unable. Remember that the Sacrament of Matrimony opens our lives up to take from a wellspring of graces. These graces will serve to help us as we work through these types of issues.

Keep up the good work. Keep praying to know the correct path. And carve out time for yourself. Think about those hobbies and interests that you had to put on the side when your son was very young. Return to those interests.

Let us pray a Memorare for all those children whose fathers are not at all present in their lives. Let us ask that the moms in such families find the comfort of extended families to be refreshing and restful. For all these parents we pray that the Lord's own peace will aid them. Amen.

Sending out a prayer,

Rita Munn