Support > Family Life > How do you monitor the use of computer time with children?


	0 Items

Home > Support > Family Life > How do you monitor the use of computer time with children?

Question:

How do you monitor the use of computer time (games/internet) with young children? Things are getting difficult to manage. Our family has one computer that my husband and I have our work on. My children like to have "free time" on the computer to play downloadable free games or to go on the internet and look up their favorite music groups. At first, we allowed "free time" here and there with a timer. That interfered with school work and chores. Then we limited "free time" to weekends with a timer. That resulted in "emotional temper tantrums" when one's turn was finished. Now, we are trying to only allow "free time" on the weekends with a timer only if the children play educational games on the internet or pc. That has resulted in very angry children who whine constantly and claim that we are mean parents. I think that my younger children actually get addicted to these downloadable games and can't bear to be told their time is up.

Answer:

Dear Mom,

Thank you for such a timely question. Our family perhaps has what some would consider very strict rules with regard to the internet and computer use. Understand that with one computer in the house we find that we must treat it as the tool it is. No one is allowed to 'play' on the computer. It is in the room that we call the office because this room has my work station, my husband's work station, the crafting supplies, the sewing machine, the ironing board, etc. in it. The computer is treated as a tool much the same way we use the oven or even the car. The use by the children is strictly monitored and they are only allowed to use the computer as a tool for school or for communicating with their older brothers and sisters or cousins. They must ask permission to get on the computer because the computer is not common property. The computer belongs to my husband and myself and we use it for our jobs, therefore the computer is necessary to maintain the efficiency of our ability to do our work. For this reason we do not want the girls using the computer to play games, etc.

We monitor the computer much the same way we monitor the use of the family van. All drivers must ask permission, explain where they are going and when they expect to return. They share in the cost of operation and show that they are certainly responsible to have the privilege of driving the family van (our only car besides my husband's car that he takes to work).

We have not had many arguments about our rules but certainly a share of discussion. The computer is a tool not a toy. The children have seen the aggravation created when the computer goes down or catches a virus. They understand the importance of maintaining the computer as a tool in our home.

I hope that my reply has not sounded too harsh but I feel that I must be honest when you ask about our particular rules concerning the computer. If use in your home is creating challenges then I would suggest that perhaps it is time for a family caucus to discuss the challenges and see what creative solutions can be shared. I sense that you and your husband are very caring parents that seek to protect and guard your children against the dangers that unlimited television or computer use may present. This is a holy witness and one with which the Lord will continue to empower you. Pray for His guidance when discussing computer use in your home.

Let us pray together for all those children whose lives have forever been altered due to a loss of innocence and purity. Let us ask that the Lord restore them and bring persons into their life that will help care for them and give them the tools to heal through the traumas they have suffered. St. Maximilian Kolbe, pray for us.

Sending out a prayer,

Rita Munn