Dear Mom,

I admire your ability to get to the point of your particular challenge. Don't you see that in that blessing alone you are being inspired by the Holy Spirit to go forward into solutions to the challenges that steal your peace and threaten to undermine your life? Not only this but when the Holy Spirit illuminates areas of our life that are in need of change it is as though the Lord shines a spotlight on the problem areas. However we must always look closer at what we are seeing. The answers to challenges nearly always lie beneath the obvious. In other words, though your particular challenges involve all the issues you listed there is one thing that I feel is at the heart of the challenge.

In your letter you never used the word 'I', but none the less it is implied in every statement that you made in your letter. This is very telling to me. I see you in a struggle but more importantly I see you in a struggle, alone. This is probably one of the most burdensome of challenges that a person can face. To work, to struggle with obvious challenges is enough for any one person but to do so without the companionship, help, and encouragement of those in a position to make a difference takes that burden to the level of a true sorrow.

In our sorrow our spirits are wearied and beaten down. We feel isolated and apart from those we love. We struggle in a solitary situation whereby we begin to feel undermined, incapable, and taken for granted.

Whether or not you choose to continue with homeschooling is only a small part of the situation. Look to the real issue. Large families are blessings however it takes a great deal of communication, compromise, and a unified effort to ensure that all needs are reasonably meet and that our households run smoothly. The mindset that 'woman's work' encompasses one degree and 'everyone else's work' encompasses another is untrue. Every member of the family has a vested interest in seeing that the household runs smoothly so that all can enjoy the great benefit of the peace that will follow. This is of course the will of the Lord. The Lord works in and through our lives to show us the better path to take.

If this issue is not addressed then it will surely raise its head again despite your returning your children to public education. Suppose for a minute that you are forced to return to the work force outside the home because you have decided that private school would be best for your children and the cost of tuition makes your staying home impossible. Now we have mom working literally two jobs and needing even more help to maintain the home.

It is time for you to approach this challenge in the spirit of a desire to find a solution that is workable for the entire family. Not living in your home, it is impossible for me to address the areas of most need. However, I know in my spirit that you are a worthy woman who is a hard worker and pours herself out for those she loves. You are a Proverbs woman. However I wonder if your dear family may not have slipped ever so innocently into depending upon your work ethic to the expense of their own. I am sure that it is no surprise to you the amount of ability found in even the youngest members of the family. When people would visit our home and see us 'in action' they were always amazed at what the children felt comfortable doing. Just this past weekend our youngest had a spend-the-night party. One of her guests is the youngest of two. This little girl was shocked that my daughter not only made her own bed but was able to cook breakfast and clear away the dishes.

Look to prayer first. Sit quietly before the Holy Eucharist and pray about the situation. Take a note pad with you, because I assure you that the Holy Spirit is going to have inspirations for you. Speak candidly with your husband. Go to the graces found in the Sacrament of Matrimony and rest in the power of those graces. Together the two of you should pray about this situation. Then approach your family after you and your husband have worked through the issues on paper. Present an unified front. Show the family the power in prayer, empowerment from the Holy Spirit and desire to do the Lord's will. Change what can be changed and pray to know where your limits are going to be. Certainly the majority of your children are very young, but in that too is a blessing. I have always found that placing the priority of concern around the most vulnerable in a family centers my work and gives focus to my life. This is not to say that all others are forsaken but it presents a common goal. If the needs of the baby can be met then there is more time for other things.

I admire you very much. I would find your friendship a great blessing. It is the desire of my heart to reach out to moms, especially moms in situations like yours, and reassure them that they are not only worthy and able but that they are a holy witness of the Lord's own empowerment. Jesus tells us that in our weakness He is made strong. This means that when we reach out to the Lord and admit our weakness this opens the way for the Lord to empower us with His strength. In our humility of spirit the Lord works miracles. Please go forward and trust in the power of prayer and the overwhelming desire of the Lord to be in the solutions and the answers to all of life's challenges.

Lord, we ask that our dear sister in Christ find the empowerment of the Holy Spirit as she works to make sense of the challenges that she is facing. Lord, give her the peace that passes all understanding as she travels this path at this time. Lord, we ask that she remain healthy and clear of mind and quiet in her spirit as she works to do Your will. Lord, please guard and protect all mothers who are faced with great challenges. We love You, Lord, and long to see Your face. Amen.

Sending out a prayer,

Rita Munn