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Question: I'm a mother of 6, and this is our 7th year of homeschooling. My oldest daughter is in 7th grade and will be going to high school in another year and a half. We are uncertain about what to do about high school. I'm not really happy about our Catholic high school here. However, my daughter wants to go to high school and have that experience. (I think what she really wants are friends her own age to hang around with.) I feel pulled in two directions. Thank you!!
Answer:

Dear Mom,

I have been in this position myself when the teens reached highschool age.

First and foremost the decision to homeschool was made by my husband and myself because we felt that through prayer we were being led to do so by the will of God. I think that it is important that children understand that we as parents are making this choice not because we want to interrupt their social life but because we are trying in all earnest to follow God's will as we understand it. Children really can appreciate this logic and it sets a good example for them when they see what following the Lord's will really means. You might add that you know that your decisions may not make your daughter happy but this is not really about her happiness but about your eternal life.

That said, I sense that your daughter is a sweet good spirited child who enjoys the company of friends her own age and above all wants to be obedient to your wishes. I have found that there are many fine activities that can get children in contact with their friends and still keep homeschooling a priority. See what is available through your church.

My children have enjoyed the community theater. Many towns have productions that are for young people. My own daughter wanted to be with girls her own age and we allowed her to try out for The Diary of Anne Frank. It was a fantastic experience. She got the part of Anne. Because she was homeschooled and had developed a good work ethic, the discipline of acting and memorization came effortlessly. Since I was going to be taking her to practice I decided I would try out as well. I got the part of Mrs. Van Dam. We did a unit study on World War II and every thing connected with the Jewish persecution. It was a real learning opportunity.

4-H has been a very satisfying activity as well. There are many choices for learning experiences that are complimentary to homeschool. Teens of all ages compete and come together without regard to highschool affiliation.

Our daughter, Megan, loved to take dance classes with girls her age.

One of the things that we as parents must keep in mind is that after these friendships have been established, it is our responsibility to foster their continuance. I always prefer my house to be the one where the kids congregate. I am willing to drive and pick up after activities. I want to get to know the other parents as well.

Perhaps there is a learning homeschool cooperative in your town that you could join. Do some research and see if there is a chance that this would be an alternative for your daughter. They usually meet one day a week and offer either enrichment studies or tutorial classes. Make certain that their goals will not interfere with your Catholic lifestyle or Catholic homeschool experience.

Just because a child is homeschooled does not mean that they should be isolated from the normal and pleasant interactions with their peer group.

My daughter was homeschooled all through highschool and found no problems when the time came for college. She is now a junior and does not seem to be shy or out of touch with life. In fact she seems level headed and well rounded.

I am firm believer in homeschooling during highschool. There are just too many influences in highschool that can be counter-productive to the goals we are trying to achieve.

We love our children, Lord, and desire their happiness. Help us to temper our desire for their happiness with the knowledge that we must be within Your will. It is only in following Your will that true and lasting happiness can be gained. We love You, Lord Jesus, and ask that You send the guidance of Holy Spirit when we are in discussions with our children. Amen.

I believe you are a sensitive and compassionate mom, who is trying to understand your daughter's needs. The Lord will honor your humble and kind spirit. You are in my prayers every day. Please pray for me.

Sending out a prayer,

Rita Munn

   
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