Dear Mom,

Thank you for taking the time to write. Your letter is very timely in addressing a concern that I see as an important part of the homeschooling lifestyle. Many times families will begin homeschooling one sibling for reasons varied and removed from the needs of the other siblings. Sometimes it is discipline issues or issues with the school system, etc. In any event what gradually happens over the course of the homeschooling is a deep and committed feeling that homeschooling would be right for all the siblings. Sometimes it brings a bit a sorrow in that we want the best for all of our children and through homeschooling we begin to see 'the best' as having all our children in the homeschool.

There are many things to consider. First of all your husband's concerns are legitimate and valid. It is important to make the transition to the homeschooling lifestyle in such a way that your children understand this to be a choice borne of prayer and discussions between parents. Ultimately the choice to homeschool comes from the parents' authority and must be presented to the children in that way. The choice to homeschool is really no different than any other parental decision. All too often children that are situated in the public school develop a mindset that the 'teachers in the public school are the ultimate authority'. This is not a malicious thought but one that is a natural progression of a child being in their influence for more hours of the day than they are able to be in the parent's influence.

It is important that your husband (since he is going to be the primary parent/teacher) understand the nature of homeschooling a middle schooler. It will be necessary for him to connect to the homeschooling community of your area. This provides a necessary outlet and a support base for the parent/teacher and the children as well. Because the nature of such groups (for the time now) seems to be made up of mainly mothers and children it is important that your husband speak with you about this concern. Will he feel like a fish out of water?

Such support groups can be varied in their ability to help parents bridge the gap between public school and the homeschool. Youngsters find different friends that are not connected to the public school, etc., making the transition easier. Such groups give the children a sense that homeschooling is mainstream and vital. They begin to see homeschooling as another option, not 'less school'. Some of these groups offer sports and outside interest that will peak the interest of the most reluctant middle schooler.

My suggestion would be that you and your husband make a point to visit such co-operative schools, homeschool support groups, etc. and get a sense of the many opportunities afforded through such groups. Then make a list of the advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling your middle schooler. Pray over the list and remain in prayer concerning this issue for a set amount of time. At the end of that time, pray and make a choice through prayer and your desire to do what you feel the Lord is calling you to do. Present your decision to your son and stand as a unified front. The confusion in his heart will be greatly lessened when he sees that mom and dad agree and are supportive of one another wholeheartedly.

I admire you and your husband. Though homeschooling has for many years been the territory of moms, I see when I travel as a speaker to conferences many dads who are the primary educators of the children. These dads are eager to learn the ropes of homeschooling and through their unique charism as fathers they are bringing to the homeschooling arena a dimension that is welcome and adds greatly to the overall experience. It is heartwarming to see families (husbands, wives and sometimes grandparents) pouring over the books offered through CHC and making choices that will benefit the children. It is always going to be a wonderful experience when children live in environments that are supportive and when they have the great blessing of seeing their parents working together for their good.

Let us pray this morning a Hail Mary and offer up our prayers today for all those families that are faced with hardships borne of single parenting. Let us ask that the Lord empower those parents that must care for their children in an atmosphere of confusion or doubt. Lord, give them the graces necessary to make changes that will benefit their children. Lord, we ask that all parents strive to keep the needs of children uppermost in their hearts. We pray that the first need that parents will seek to provide is that of bringing their children to the true knowledge of Your great love for them. Amen.

Sending out a prayer,

Rita Munn