Dear Mom,

It is always a powerful witness of the great depth to which we desire to be in accordance with the will of the Father. I truly believe that all humans seek to know God though they may not realize that they are on this journey. Let me explain through a very real example that I am certain you will appreciate. My nephew is an adorable child who is sure of his needs and has no challenge letting his mom and dad know what he needs. However when we becomes over tired, over challenged, over stimulated, etc. he whines in such a way that makes one want to reach out and help. After a particularly difficult afternoon, his distress was beyond the beyond. My sister was distraught and merely wanted to know what she could do to help. After some thought, Mark replied, "Just tell me what I want and then give it to me."

I can tell you with all the truthfulness of one who journeys alongside you, dear sister in Christ, I have cried out to the Lord in much the same way Mark did when he was confused and weary.

Think for a moment about the needs that your children have. Beyond the physical needs of food, warmth, clothing and housing, children must have guidance and caring concern for their development both spiritually and mentally. It is one of the greatest sorrows in this world to witness the neglect of perfectly wonderful parents to attend to the spiritual needs of their children. Children need to know that the parents who care for them are able to do so. They must feel confidence that those adults who are in charge of their well being are loving and most importantly committed to the care of their needs. In accepting the role of parent we are saying yes to coparenting with the Lord whether one believes this to be true or not. All humans are created and the Creator gifts us with the creation for a time until He calls such back to Him. In docility of heart and through a love that is beyond our comprehension to fully understand, parents will sacrifice for their children even to the point of death. This is a beautiful imitation of the Lord's love for us though the fullness of the Lord's love can not be realized in this world, only in the next. Yet we can in some small way appreciate the love the Father has for His creation.

A child's grandparents are indeed important in their life and it is vital that this relationship be nurtured and protected. However when you are parenting from your desire to follow the Lord's will for your family then it is more important that grandparents try to understand your choice, be supportive, and continue to pray for your success.

I have found that when I am confident (though humble and docile in my spirit) and state that my choice to homeschool is made with the desire to follow what I believe to be the Lord's will for our children then there is nothing more that I need to say. I am certain that there have been seasons in my life when my own parents probably thought I had taken on more than one should handle, and they certainly expressed the same to me. However I was equally convinced that Jesus had called me into this vocation and that was that.

Though you describe your parents as overbearing, I am sure that they are proud of your accomplishment of becoming a physician. This vocation is demanding and most certainly a calling that requires single minded dedication. Did your parents try to persuade you to go into another field? Were you committed to this calling? Think for a moment of the resolve that you showed when you began your education.

Parenting challenges do not go away when children are in public school, private school, or homeschool. Parenting is a vocation that requires the parent to be committed to improving their technique, seeking advice, prayer, and docility of spirit to learn from the guidance of the Holy Spirit. If you are feeling that you are facing challenges due to your inability to adequately discipline etc. then it is important to address those concerns. Those concerns will be a part of your parenting no matter where your children are educated.

I admire you very much. I sense in you a seeker of knowledge. It is apparent that the most important knowledge to you is Knowledge of the Lord. You are academic and in your academic mind (a gift from the Lord) you have honored this gift by applying your skills to a profession that is certainly a calling. Jesus loves you very much and is in the process of working with you to help you see fully and with eyes wide open His plan for your family. Being a physician is a demanding job. It requires that the physician feel committed to his patients and to the accuracy of his judgment concerning their care. This can be a tremendous burden to carry along with the care of a family. I sense that you are willing to put your career on hold until you reach a place of peace with regard to the next steps in regards to educating your children. The Lord will honor your desire to know His will. Jesus calls us to follow His will, in His loving care He would not leave us in doubt or confusion. Think clearly about your goals with regard to homeschooling. Go forward. What is the worst that can happen if your children spend a year of their lives with you one on one through out the day? Seriously. It may prove to be the best year of your lives, redefining and focusing your goals. Do all things in love and wait on the Lord. He will never leave you orphan.

Thank you for sharing your letter with this forum. It means a great deal to each of us here. We are indeed sojourners and in that we have much comfort.

Let us pray for all those children whose parents have find themselves in situations which seem to be unresolvable. Let us offer our prayers today for them and ask that the tenderness of the Lord embrace their confusion dispelling all doubt and giving them the comfort of rest in His arms.

Sending out a prayer,

Rita Munn

Dear Rita,
 
I would like to respond to the question from the part-time physician who wishes to become a full-time homeschooler.  In addition to the wonderful answer provided by you, Rita, I'd like to say, "Welcome!" to this physician/mother.   I'm a "semi-retired" lawyer and full-time homeschooler.
 
What I found is that the "part-time" practice of law was the "worst of both worlds."  There was no time for good record-keeping at work and no time for fun with my children.  And, while on a religious pilgrimage, I actually heard the words in my head, "Choose one or the other."  I had to choose between supporting my family through the full-time practice of law (and paying others to watch my children) and getting out of the regular practice altogether.  I enjoy my children's company SO MUCH that the choice was easy.
 
So, even though every day is not easy, my children know--in the depths of them, in every cell of them--that Mommy enjoys their company SO MUCH!  This cannot be replaced by anything bought or sold.  And, this deeply held feeling/knowledge becomes the basis for amazing self-discipline on the part of the child.  Perhaps it is time for your six year-old daughter to learn about playing with others; let this be.  When it is time for her to learn math and reading, she will have the self-discipline to pursue her education (maybe next week; maybe next season).
 
My parents were/are very anti-homeschooling also.  They not only took it as a condemnation of their not homeschooling (which was absolutely not true, because it was rarely done in the 70s and 80s, and I went to excellent Catholic and public schools), but also it challenged their  ideas of educating (young women, in particular).  Why did my parents sacrifice to help me attain my professional goals?  For me to throw away the profession?
 
What has evolved is the following, which may happen to you, also:  The more I gave to my home life, the more we became able to live on my husband's income (which grows to accommodate the growing family).  The more stable my home life and my husband's employment, the more time I have for doing what I really love (besides homeschooling):  pro-life work, from a lawyer's perspective.  So, instead of practicing part-time with catch-as-catch-can clients, I have the most important clients in the world, babies-waiting-to-be-born.  And, when Roe v. Wade is overturned (as it soon will be), I'll slip back into my original loves, environmental and land-use law, sharing my knowledge and work with then-teenage daughters who may want to become architects, land-use planners, lawyers or doctors (as they have told me along the way).
 
You know, we who put so much of life on hold in order to pursue academic/professional educations must go back and learn common sense and basic skills.  Common sense and the Church teach us to make parenting decisions with our spouses, albeit with due respect given to our own parents' concerns.  I really did not have to talk to my parents much about their complaining to the grandchildren about homeschooling, because my parents learned to do what the "market could bear."  If my parents complained too much, the grandchildren wanted to see them less!  It is amazing how stepping aside from the discussion ultimately allows the discussion to wind down!
 
Plus, deep inside me, I have made the choice to homeschool because, even though I went to school, my parents helped me study in the pre-K years and every day after school.  This is where I did most of my learning.  I have taken pleasure in telling this to my parents, even though they haven't always been able truly to hear this compliment.
 
After a decade marked by the Job-like condition in which you seem to be right now, I am living a life that vastly exceeds any dreams that I ever had for it.  Jesus came so that we may have life in abundance.  All that I had to do was live my "Yes" to Him.
 
Sincerely,
Marianna