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Question:

This is the first year (actually 3 months) of homeschooling for us. My oldest boy is extremely bored and strongly wants to return to the public school. He's attended public school from K-5th. We recently moved out to the country, leaving behind a neighborhood of friends. There truly are no other kids out here to play with, even after school. Since there have been so many recent changes, I feel like I have coddled him. And I wanted him to like homeschooling so much! So I've sat with him while doing school. He likes it this way. I've weakly attempted to get him to work independently, but he tells me he likes it better when we work together. Then I think, "Well, this is one of the advantages of homeschooling." But, I have other responsibilities. I end up doing half of his school curriculum (half of what he should be doing & what he is capable of doing). When school is over, I'm needing to take care of household chores (as well as teaching my 2nd grader). He complains about constantly doing chores, about having too many chores. But if he is not doing school (WITH me), nor doing chores, he's in the playroom playing video games all day long. This drives me crazy. But he has a legitimate point, what else is he supposed to do. He says he's bored out of his mind. He misses his friends from school greatly. We've (he & I) agreed to pray about this situation over Christmas break. What should I do? Should I let him go back to school? Could this be in HIS best interest? Would that meet his needs? I am depressed about this. For years now I have wished to homeschool my kids, but my husband was not for it. But now that we moved out to the country, to a different school district, he gave his approval. I would be able to transfer my son to his old school for the remainder of the 6th grade year. I need words of wisdom, I need guidance. Please let the Holy Spirit work through this support team to help guide me.

Answer:

Dear Mom,

Your concerns are shared by many moms of teens, not just those parents who have children who are homeschooled. Having dealt with this issue myself I can understand to a certain degree the frustration that you are experiencing. In our situation with the children in our household there seems to be two different types of 'animals'; those that are social butterflies and find the effort and the energy to make friends and enjoy new situations and then there are those that can be real 'sticks in the mud'.

For example the girls and I recently went to a new family owned coffeehouse which has opened out in the country. Of the three girls that went on the outing, only one decided she would prefer to sit in the car instead of going into the coffeehouse. After much convincing she joined in the fun. It proved to be a positive experience.

I would suggest that you reach beyond your surroundings and find outside interests for your son that will tempt him to expand his idea of fun. I have found that 4H is an extremely positive experience. He may drag his feet at first but with encouragement he probably will be glad that you suggested the experience. Pray to know other opportunities that will allow your son to come into his own and develop outside interests that will give him more to do with his free time.

The challenges that you are facing with regards to school work are certainly not limited to the homeschooling experience. In fact I have made a very unscientific observation, in that school work struggles will be present whether or not one is in the public sector or private. Sometimes it is a matter of discipline and motivation. Some children need attention with regard to study habits. This is the most important skill that you can foster in your young person. This is an issue that will either help or haunt them the rest of their life.

I admire your determination to work through these challenges and your desire to do what you feel is best for your son. The sweet Jesus will certainly honor your desires to bring the best from this challenge and to in turn bring your son closer to an attitude that will allow him more peace.

Let us pray for all the parents that find they must suffer through extremes in behavior with teens. Let us pray for those parents that find they are forced to seek professional help for their young people. Amen.

Sending out a prayer,

Rita Munn