Dear Parent,

Stand firm. If you believe that the Catholic faith is the truth according to God's Holy Will, then you do not want to give your children mixed messages, based upon their relatively young ages.

Is this group ecumenical or does it promote a specifically non-Catholic or even anti-Catholic agenda? Many non-Catholic home schooling groups do promote their own faith agendas, which is what you would expect from non-Catholic home schoolers. That does not mean that this group will not have some or even many beliefs that are close or similar to Catholic beliefs. Some of the members may be anti-Catholic, and others may not understand or be interested in your Catholicism. Does this group have an ecumenical approach, based upon the actual official and unofficial dynamics of the group? Are they teaching Scripture in ways that are in conflict with Catholicism? Is the group working on projects that are truly ecumenical, or are the projects actually evangelistic in the sense of promoting a particular faith or creed? Does this group require an oath of allegiance or have a written mission or goal statement?

For example, pro-life groups are often ecumenical, but the goal of these groups is in accordance with Catholic teaching. The Acton Institute is strongly Catholic, yet welcomes participation and commentaries by non-Catholics with the Institute's stated mission and guidelines. These are adult groups, however.

When my children were young, we were camping as a family and a non-Catholic home schooling group appeared at the campsite. Within the first five minutes after establishing that we were also home schoolers, but Catholic, we were surrounded by eager middle school and teen evangelizers, explaining to us that we needed to be saved because we were Catholic and thus not Christian. This intense evangelization and misconception of Catholicism motivate the behavior of some young non-Catholics. When I was eight years old, one of my cousins, who was about twelve, explained that if I died before I joined his church, he would have my blood on his hands because I was definitely not going to Heaven as a Catholic. I still remember that I kept looking at his hands from time to time to see if they were going to turn red with my blood or anyone else's.

If you decide that this home schooling group is not ecumenical and choose not to join it, I understand that you may experience alienation because of the popularity of these meetings. That doesn't mean that you cannot continue to meet informally with people, both Catholics and non-Catholics, belonging to this group on occasion with appropriate supervision, in other words, your personal supervision. My children and I bowled once a month with a non-Catholic home schooling group, but I was always right there and aware of what was going on in this small group of five families. The group had other events that we did not attend, but my family and another Catholic family joined them for the bowling. And we belonged to a Catholic group which sponsored Catholic activities and devotions. Since you mention that you live in a city, perhaps you could work with your parish or a Catholic group to organize specifically Catholic activities? I know, however, that even Catholic parishes may use non-Catholic programs for events like Vacation Bible School, which is why I wrote four authentically Catholic children's summer programs based on Scripture and Tradition.

Do not be concerned about being narrow-minded. God will not ask you if you joined popular groups, but He will be concerned about how you chose to live your Catholic faith. Keep praying about this matter.

May God bless you as you continue to guide your children,

Sandra Garant